We were speaking quietly now, not wanting our bad vibes to carry over to the other pregnant women.

‘I haven’t thought about it.’

‘I think you have.’

‘About Mum, well of course. And yeah, I’m worried about what’s become of my life, how I’ve wasted so much time and don’t know what the hell I’m going to do next. I still miss Monica. I still wince when I imagine the life I could have had if I’d been more careful. But I’m not depressed. I’m appropriately sad. I distract myself. There’s still a good chance I can fix my problems.’

‘How do you stay so optimistic all the time? Do you really feel like that?’

‘We have to believe that. Life isn’t all sad.’

‘But aren’t you lonely now? Like a hundred times more lonely?’

‘I don’t know. If I’m lonely I go out and look for someone.’

‘Someone? To do what?’

‘Connect. Talk.’

‘Yeah, talk. I don’t think that’s what you mean. And that just makes me more lonely.’

‘What about your friends?’

‘It’s not the same, is it? They’re busy. They’re having babies. I see them occasionally, then I come home and I’m still lonely.’

‘That’s just… circumstantial.’

‘I don’t care if it’s circumstantial or integral. It’s how I feel.’

A woman walked quickly from the consulting rooms holding a hand over her eyes. A man came out a few seconds later, looking around for her.

‘You know you can rely on me completely when the baby’s born,’ I said. ‘And before. I could even move in if you want.’

She smiled with her mouth shut, and we looked around the room at all the hushed couples, the men studying their phones, the women more alert, looking up whenever a name was called. These hopeful alliances we formed to continue the species.

‘No, thanks,’ she said. ‘It’s good of you to come here, but let’s be real. I want to get a housemate. Maybe you’re right about friends being the answer. Hannah might move in with her one-year-old. We need new structures. Why can’t two single mothers live together and help each other out?’

‘You’re right.’

‘I might meet a man who isn’t a dickhead if I’m not in such a rush.’

‘It takes time to find men of sensibility.’

‘And you and me living together? With a baby? We’d kill each other.’

‘Maybe. So what’s the therapist like? Do you talk about me with her?’

‘She thinks you should probably see someone.’

‘She does? Right. Nah. I’m fine.’

‘I don’t think you are.’

‘Honestly, I am. Leave it alone.’

‘You don’t get angry?’

‘Of course I get angry. There are infuriating dickheads everywhere I go. They should make me angry.’

‘Are they definitely as infuriating as you find them?’