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Back The Year the Maps Changed Save as PDF
Chapters (75)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Map
  6. Prologue
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. Acknowledgments
  74. About the Author
  75. About the Publisher

The next thing I remember was the scream of the telephone, and Pop saying, “Here we go!” as he hoisted himself to standing.

Sam and I looked on from the couch, fizzing with excitement as we listened to Pop’s cheery “How many fingers and toes?” as soon as he answered the phone.

But then his face fell.

I sat up.

Pop turned his back to us and put a hand out on the kitchen counter as though to steady himself while he spoke in a low hum.

“Luca, oh, Luca. . . .”

Sam stirred, raised his twisty curly head, and scooped up his glasses from the coffee table. “Is he here yet?” he asked.

My mouth felt as dry as the desert, and I couldn’t get any words out as I watched the phone go back in its cradle.

Pop turned to us then. His face was gray and he was already crying.

“Pop?” I said.

He ran a hand over his head. Like he was scrubbing something away.

I got to my feet. “Pop?”

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42

He Was Still

I was wrong.

Drumlin wasn’t spinning and forming like the Earth; he was still.

Stillbirth. That’s what the grown-ups called it.

He was born without a heartbeat, with the cord wrapped around his neck.

They said it was an accident. Nobody could have predicted it.

Pop couldn’t drive, but Sam wanted to go see his mom.

“I know, mate. I know,” Pop sighed.

Sam tried to kick at him. “I want to see her!”

Pop shook his head and tried to explain. “She’s okay, she’s okay—but she needs to stay in the hospital for a bit, and Luca is with her. . . .”

Sam kept kicking and then trying to hit Pop. I stood back and put my hands over my ears; like if I couldn’t hear what he was saying, then none of it was really happening.

“Come on, come on!” Pop said and tried to grab Sam’s flailing limbs. Eventually his big hands got hold of Sam’s shoulders, squeezed him tight, and gave him a little shake. “Sam, stop! Stop it!”

And then he was just holding him, Sam’s head on Pop’s shoulder, and Pop’s big arms wrapped around him and both of them crying.

I stayed where I was, though, in the space between the living room and the kitchen. I couldn’t go to them, there was no room for me—Drumlin was gone, and he’d been more Sam’s brother than mine.

He’d been a part of Luca, Sam, and Anika.

But not me. Never me.

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43

Stop the Spinning