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Back The Year the Maps Changed Save as PDF
Chapters (75)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Map
  6. Prologue
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. Acknowledgments
  74. About the Author
  75. About the Publisher

When I was beside his bed Luca folded me in his arms just like he’d done to Anika. He patted circles on my back the way I thought only mothers knew.

“What if you’d died?”

Luca eased me off him and looked into my eyes. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

I kept shaking.

“Fred, I’m—”

“I stopped calling you Dad.”

“What?”

“I thought . . .” But then I couldn’t say any more, and Luca had to rest me back on his shoulder while I shook with the words in my head.

“Tell me, Freddo, just tell me,” he said.

“I thought I loved you more than her.” And then I whispered who I meant. “Mom.”

He must have felt my shaking, because he squeezed me just a little bit harder to him.

“You’ve been here for longer, and I thought she’d know that I loved you more than her, even though you’re not . . .”

I couldn’t say it, because that at least wasn’t true—he was my father.

“I get so mad at her for dying, for not being here anymore, and I think she must hate me for that . . . and I thought you’d love him more than me too.” Before he could ask, I added, “Drumlin.”

I started to cry then, and I couldn’t stop.

“That’s not the way love works, Fred.”

He cupped his hands around my cheeks, the way Anika had done to him, and really looked at me. “There’s no more or less about it, there’s only love—do you hear me?”

I nodded.

“And I don’t care what you call me, because I know exactly who I am,” he said, and his eyes turned glassy with his own tears. “I am your dad, the same way I was Drumlin’s. The same way you are still Maria’s daughter. None of that ever changes. And I promise you this: just like I’m still so proud to have been his dad, your mom still has the same pride and love for you. And so do I.”

He gently ran his thumbs underneath my eyes to wipe away the tears. “They may not be here anymore, your mom and the baby, but the love for them still is. That’s just how it is, Fred—and I tend to think that’s probably what heaven is. . . . We go on loving them, even after they’re gone.”

And then I laid my head down on Luca’s chest and I cried, because I knew it was true.

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52

They Just Can

Days after Merjeme’s rescue made the evening news, the volunteers were told to stop going to the haven.

We heard about it first on the radio, and the next day at school I waited with Sam, Jed, and Aidan outside the teachers’ lounge for Mr. Khouri, to find out if it was true.