Chapter Fourteen

Rav seems overly attentive this morning, bringing me a cup of tea before the baby has even woken for his six o’clock feed, and sitting on the edge of the bed as I sit up to drink it.

‘Aren’t you going to be late?’ I bury my face in my cup, the steam hot on my cheeks. My head still thuds with a dull ache after only a couple of hours’ sleep and I wish he hadn’t woken me.

‘Yes, Probably. I didn’t get to see you last night.’ He reaches for my hand, but I move, scratching at a non-existent itch at the top of my arm. It was his choice to come home so late. His choice to meet Naomi instead of coming home to us. The image of the two of them, sitting so close together, looking so intimate, rises to the front of my mind and I feel suddenly sick.

‘Well, I need to get up.’ I push back the covers, cold air hitting my legs and feet. ‘I need to get Mina ready for preschool.’

‘You’re not sending her today?’ Rav frowns, shifting out of the way so that I can get out of bed. ‘I thought she was ill? I checked on her when I got up and she was still a little warm, so I don’t think she should go in today, Allie.’

I had forgotten that Mina was ill yesterday. How could I have forgotten? I sink back down onto the bed, taking back the mug that Rav holds out. ‘Of course not. Of course, I’m not going to send her.’

‘Al, are you sure everything is OK? You seem … I don’t know. Not yourself.’ Concern sits on his face and I wonder just how sincere that concern is.

‘Everything is fine. I saw the health visitor yesterday, she was happy, she’s discharged us.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. Really. I should get up, and you need to get going. You don’t want to have to make up any time at the office.’ Because I know you didn’t stay late for a meeting last night. The words hang unspoken in the air, but it’s only me who is aware of them.

‘How about I try and get home a bit early tonight? I’ll pick us up Thai on the way back and maybe we can sit out by the pond and have a glass of wine when the baby goes to bed?’ His fingers inch towards mine, reaching out, stroking my palm and I feel my pulse slow.

‘Maybe.’

‘If you pump, I’ll give Leo his late feed too. That way you can enjoy some wine and relax for a couple of hours.’