‘Hmmm. It was complicated, growing up with her as a mother. We were close when I was younger, it was just the two of us, so we stuck together. After I met Rav, she didn’t approve and we kind of … fell out. But everything changes when you have your own children, you sort of see things in a different light. You see things the way your mother might, you know?’ I could kick myself. Of course, Naomi doesn’t know.

‘And I just wish I had a child for my mother to fuss over,’ Naomi says, her words tinged with bitterness.

‘I’m sorry.’ I hate the way Naomi’s face changes, grief etched into her features.

‘No, I am. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry. It’s just difficult sometimes, you know …’ She breaks off, sighing. ‘But I have you guys, right? I told you before, Al, I can help with the children anytime.’

‘I know. I do appreciate the offer but I just …’

‘There’s something else bothering you, isn’t there?’

I wait a moment, uncertain whether I want to be this open and honest with her. I haven’t forgotten that she told me she hadn’t spoken to Rav, even though I saw her name in his messages. That she was with him in the pub, when he told me he was working late.

‘Al?’ she persists. ‘What is it?’

‘Remember I told you about the … dream I had? The one that seemed so real. I’ve had it again. More than once.’

Chapter Seventeen

Naomi fixes her dark eyes on me, a slight frown creasing her brow. ‘It’s just a dream, Allie. It’s nothing to worry about it.’

Oh, but it is, I think, seeing my feet on the stairs, that unfamiliar room, feeling the chill swirl around my body.

‘It’s just a dream,’ Naomi goes on. ‘I think you’re having some sort of weird lucid dreams, maybe because of your hormones, or perhaps when you do sleep, you’re sleeping deeper than usual? I don’t know.’

‘It feels so real, not like a dream at all.’ I stand, forgetting about my bandaged ankle, ignoring the pain that bolts up my leg. ‘I keep waking up after it, with this … sense of dread. As if it’s going to reach out into real life and take over all of this.’ I sweep my arm to encompass the room. ‘What if everything is all connected? What if I did something really awful?’