Oh God. Reading Rav’s words to Naomi makes bile rise in my throat. Passports. Whether I need to remove them. He’s going to take my children? I am still, iced water in my veins as I re-read the message. I think of the two of them talking in the kitchen while I was out, the way Naomi slid into my seat at the table. It’s as if she’s inching her way into my life one tiny step at a time. Has she put the idea in his head that I am mad? Does she want him to remove the children so that she can take my place? I can’t believe that Rav, my Rav, would come to this conclusion of his own accord – he knows how much he and the children mean to me. The door to the gents’ swings open at the far end of the bar and Rav comes striding out. I lay his phone down, pressing the side button to turn the screen dark just he did barely an hour ago. Instead of going to the bar he comes back to the table.

‘Shall we have a nightcap? Do you have enough milk pumped to have a drink?’ There is no sign of his betrayal on his face; if I hadn’t read the messages, I never would have known.

‘No, thanks though.’ I get up and pick up the tiny handbag that feels alien to me now I am used to carrying a huge nappy bag around with me. I feel disconnected from my body, my feet numb. ‘There isn’t much reception here, we should get back.’

Rav’s eyes flick down to his phone on the table and he snatches it up. ‘Yeah, you’re right, we should probably get back.’

Rav is quiet all the way home, his hands light on the steering wheel as the radio plays softly in the background. I don’t even attempt to make conversation – all I can see is the stream of WhatsApp messages on his phone screen. A whole thread of betrayal and deceit. Now I just have to decide what I’m going to do about it.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Stepping into the hallway, I shrug off my light jacket, relieved to be home. The house is quiet, no sound of children, and I breathe out – at least they slept through my not being there. It’s only as I walk into the sitting room that I realize something is wrong.

‘Naomi.’ A stirring of unease rolls in my belly. ‘What are you doing here? Where is Evie?’ I turn to look at Rav as he follows in behind me.

‘Hello Naomi.’ He stands in the doorway, his back reflected in the mirror in the hallway behind him. ‘What’s going on? Evie was meant to be watching the kids.’