Angela, my health visitor stands on the doorstep, lanyard around her neck and a harassed look on her face. Her cheeks are flushed a bright pink and wisps of mousy hair escape from her ponytail. ‘Hi, Allie. I’m so sorry I’m late – I know we said nine o’clock, but this morning has run away with me already.’ She steps into the hall and I move to let her past into the living room.

‘No, not late at all.’ I had completely forgotten that she was coming, the events of the past few days driving everything else from my mind, but now she is here I’m glad I managed a shower and some clean clothes. ‘Can I get you a cup of tea?’

‘Thanks, but it’ll have to be a quick one.’ After a surreptitious glance at her watch, she gives me a grateful smile, before turning her attention to the baby who slumbers on in the Moses basket.

Stepping through into the kitchen I wait until the kettle is boiling noisily before taking in a few deep breaths. I had completely forgotten Angela was coming, and my eyes sweep over the kitchen, glad that I had cleaned up after last night’s dinner and tidied the living room of all Mina’s toys. When I walk back into the living room, a mug in each hand, Mina is lining up her dolls, demanding that Angela listen to all of their names.

‘Mina, not now, darling.’ I hand Angela a mug and glance towards the sleeping baby, worried that Angela will judge me for leaving the two children alone in here while I made the tea.

‘Let’s have a look at him.’ Angela holds out her arms and I place the baby in them gently, holding my breath as I wait for him to let out a wail, but he just stirs, his mouth pursing into little kisses. ‘Oh, what a good boy,’ Angela coos, and I watch as she removes his clothes, checks him over, and weighs him before handing him back to me to clothe again as she writes up her notes. As she finishes writing she peers over the top of her glasses at me. ‘You look very well, Allie. How are you feeling?’

‘Oh, fine.’ I jiggle the baby now he is back in his sleep suit, hoping he’ll go back off to sleep for just a little while longer. He pumps his fist, his face reddening.

‘Sleeping OK? As well as can be expected at this stage anyway.’ Angela lets out a small laugh and she is already packing her things back into her huge bag.

‘Yes,’ I lie, lowering my face to the baby’s head to hide the red flush that creeps over my cheeks. ‘All fine. He’s a good baby.’