Later, when the children are bathed, fed and asleep and Avó is safely tucked up in the spare bedroom, Rav pulls me towards him and I settle into his arms on the sofa. I find myself trying not to tense, waiting for the sounds of scratching to come from the chimney, but there is nothing, only the muted sounds of the lowered volume of the television.

‘I’m glad you’re home,’ he whispers into my hair. ‘Are you sure you feel OK? You will tell me if you … if things don’t feel right.’

I press my head against his chest. ‘Of course, I will. I’m glad to be home too,’ I say, honestly. Twisting round, I lift my face to his and accept a kiss. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘What for?’

‘For everything. For what I did.’ I pause, my throat thick. ‘For what I thought was happening. For doubting you.’

Rav shifts his body so that he is facing me, the light glowing behind him reminding me of the day I first saw him on the beach, the sun in his hair. ‘Allie, I don’t blame you for doubting me. You were sick, tired, alone with the children and struggling to cope. I wish I had realized – I should have talked to you about things, not Naomi. I shouldn’t have put work before everything else.’

Naomi hadn’t been lying when she said she knew how Rav was feeling. The day I saw them together in the pub was the first time he had asked to meet her, telling her he was worried that I wasn’t sleeping. She had become upset, confessing that she too was worried about me and he had put his arm around her to comfort her, nothing more sinister than that. As my behaviour had become more and more erratic, he had met with her more and more often, trying to understand what was happening to me, why I was behaving the way I was.

‘I’m sorry anyway,’ I say. ‘I should have known you wouldn’t have done anything like that.’ Rav leans forward and I let him kiss me, my breath coming short in my throat. It’s been a long time since I let him kiss me like that.

‘Are you coming up to bed?’ Rav asks. ‘It’s been a long day for you, and I don’t want you to overdo it. I was thinking we could start packing tomorrow.’

Packing. For the trip Rav booked for the four of us to Goa. The four of us – not Rav, the children and Naomi. Another thing I got wrong. He thought booking us an extended stay in India with his mother’s family would help me, give me a rest and enable me to cope. After I was admitted to the hospital, he rearranged the flights – only this time we discussed it before he booked anything.