‘Oh.’ I don’t know how I feel. I would have preferred Avó to come. In fact, I’d now quite like to tell Rav that that’s it, I definitely don’t want to go out. ‘Are you sure?’ I catch sight of his face. His expression is mild annoyance – perhaps at the realization of what I am about to say – mixed with something else. It’s the something else – fear? Suspicion? – that makes me keep my mouth shut. The children are asleep, they won’t even know that Evie is here. And at least it isn’t Naomi. I couldn’t bear to come home and see her holding the baby, looking for all the world like she belongs here instead of me.

Before I can say anything, the doorbell rings and Rav opens the door to Evie on the step. It’s the first time I’ve met her properly and she looks even younger than I imagined.

‘Come through.’ I force the words out, trying to smile, dropping it when it feels tight across my face. ‘Let me just show you where everything is.’ I wait until we are in the kitchen before I ask her, ‘Do you have any experience? I don’t mean to be rude it’s just …’

‘I know, they’re your babies.’ Evie smiles. ‘Yes, I have lots of experience. My aunt has two children that I babysit a lot, and I am the eldest of six, so …’

‘Six? Gosh.’

Rav appears, sliding his hand around my waist. ‘So, nothing to worry about, Al. Evie has tons of experience and she has my number if anything happens. Shall we go?’

I have no reason to say no. But that doesn’t stop me from turning back and watching the house as we drive away, out of the village, a sensation like an itch between my shoulder blades telling me that I shouldn’t be leaving the children. That I’ve made the wrong choice.

The pub is dimly lit, and I am glad of it, hoping that Rav can’t tell how jittery and anxious I feel. My knee bounces under the table as I wait for him to return from the bar and I lay my hand on it in an effort to stop it.

‘I ordered you the fish pie, is that OK?’ Rav hands me a small glass of white wine as he sits opposite me, a pint of ale in his other hand. I nod, but I have no appetite. ‘This is nice, eh? Just the two of us. It feels like it’s been ages since it was just us.’ His hand slides across the table and I let his fingers squeeze mine. ‘I love you, Al. Whatever happens, remember that.’ He raises my hand and presses his lips to my palm. As he does so, a shadow flickers across his face in the dim lighting and for a moment he is unrecognizable.