I place my palms flat on the table. ‘I think my memory might be coming back.’

‘Really?’ His eyes widen. ‘What do you remember?’

‘Nothing much, just Dina shouting at you, calling you a bastard.’

‘Can you remember anything else, anything at all?’ He crouches in front of me, staring so hard that I’m starting to feel uncomfortable.

‘No, there’s nothing else, that’s it. I’m trying to remember more, but it’s all so hazy.’

He finally looks away, stands and runs a hand over his head. ‘Maybe now would be a good time for you to remember more. Then you’d realise how traumatic it all was. Not that I want you to suffer the trauma. I just want you to understand what it was like. To know that we acted in your best interests.’

‘It’s all such a shock. I still can’t believe it. Maybe the rest of my memories will follow. But I think part of me is too scared to remember.’

‘That’s natural. It’s not exactly something you want to think about.’

‘That flashback, it was so vivid. Like I was there. Maybe I’ll have more. Maybe it’s because I’m back here in this hotel. Or maybe hearing you talk about what happened that day has triggered something in my brain.’

Toby nods thoughtfully. ‘I think we should probably both try to get some sleep. Talk about it some more tomorrow.’

I close my eyes for a moment. ‘My head’s throbbing. Toby, I don’t feel well at all.’

‘I’ll get you some paracetamol.’

I open my eyes and get to my feet, but I don’t know what to do with myself. I put the heel of my hand to my forehead and press against the skin as though rubbing my mind clean of everything I’ve learned. My sister is gone. She’s dead. I killed her.

‘Please,’ I whisper.

‘What?’ Toby asks. ‘What do you want? I’ll get you those painkillers.’

I grab his arm. ‘No. Please tell me it isn’t true.’ I feel the weight of his revelation push against my chest and harden in my gut. ‘Tell me it’s all a lie. That I didn’t… do it.’

Toby stares down at me with pity in his eyes. He’s chewing his bottom lip. His teeth white against the pink flesh. It all looks wrong. Everything feels so weird and wrong.

‘I’m sorry,’ he finally says. ‘I really am.’

There’s a lump in my throat, and a bright, jagged pain has wrapped itself around my heart. I don’t think I’ll ever recover from this. It’s too much. It’s too awful.

‘Why don’t you get into bed?’ Toby says softly. ‘I’ll get you those headache pills.’