I hear what he’s saying, but Toby doesn’t know the truth of what went on. And I can’t tell him. ‘I was thinking about calling the police to see if they’re able to track her down.’

‘I mean, you could try. But I’m fairly sure that it would be almost impossible for them to trace someone who’s been living abroad for however many years it’s been.’

‘Almost ten.’ I blow air out of my mouth. ‘I can’t believe it’s been that long.’

‘Give it a few days. Maybe she’ll get in touch.’

‘Okay. You’re probably right.’

‘And then, if she doesn’t, we can go to the police station together and tell them what’s happened.’

‘Thanks, Toby.’

He gives me a smile. ‘Of course. I’m sure we’re worrying over nothing though.’

I hope he’s right.

‘Are you feeling any better about things now?’

‘Kind of.’

He puts the last piece of sandwich in his mouth and washes it down with the rest of his tea. ‘I better get back…’

‘Yeah, sure. Sorry I dragged you all the way home.’

‘What? Don’t be sorry. I got to share lunch with my beautiful wife instead of staring at Nick and Dad’s ugly faces.’ He grins.

‘Actually, Toby, I think I am going to speak to the police.’

His smile fades. ‘Are you sure?’

‘I’ll be worrying otherwise.’

‘If you wait till this evening, I can come with you.’

‘No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine going on my own. I’ll just tell them what’s happened and ask if there’s anything they can do. If they can, they can, and if they can’t… well then I’ll have to think of another way to find her.’

‘I’ll get Mum to come with you.’

‘You don’t have to do that. She doesn’t need to be dragged into my family drama.’

‘She won’t mind. And anyway, we’re all family now. I’ll call her on the way back to work. Bit of moral support for you.’

‘Thank you.’

‘I’d do anything for you, Zo. You know that.’

He puts his arms around me, and I thank God for the day I met Toby Johnson. I can’t wait until we have our own little family. I know you can’t control these things, but I’m going to try my hardest to make sure that we all look out for one another, that we communicate, that our kids are as close as Toby and Nick. I want what they have in their family. That deep unshakeable bond that means they would do anything for one another. Dina and Dad and I – we’re broken. We’ve forgotten how to be family. And it hurts every day.

Twenty-One

NOW