At me over every likkle ting, left

Me no freedom. See this ear? I’m now deaf

In it, cos he smacked me in my head

For tearing a page from a book he’d just read.

ZAIRE

But he couldn’t keep her down. Al’s a lion.

Stubborn. And not scared of chiefs called Ryan.

She still cussed him day and night and flexed where

She felt like flexing. Traipsing here and there,

Going round the old flats, which he hated –

ALVITA

And he’d start giving off to me, slated

Me, giving it all this ’bout his mate, Mo,

Who spotted his wife in the street with no

Veil on and left her like that!

We see RYAN bringing ASMA to tell her story, like an example in an argument. ALVITA is unimpressed, as is ASMA for being thus used.

ASMA

High and dry,

Haven’t seen him since two thousand and five.

Good riddance!

HUSBAND RYAN

But what about Ibrahim’s

Wife? Went Olympics without asking him.

ASMA

Two thousand twelve. He left. And she’s okay!

ALVITA

He’d even dig up the Bible. He’d say:

HUSBAND RYAN

Actually, in Ecclesiastes, there’s

Some really quite sensible stuff. Like where

It says: ‘Thou shall not let thy wife wander

About.’

ALVITA

I saw he was getting fonder

Of his own voice. Liked to make pronouncements:

HUSBAND RYAN

If I let my wife wander around Brent

On Halloween, dressed like a ‘slutty witch’,

What does that make me? Basically, her bitch.

That’s like building your house on shifting sand;

That’s like trying to catch water in your hand;

That’s a bloody mug’s game, and I’m no mug!

ALVITA

And on and on. And I was just like: ugh.

I didn’t listen to a word of it.

Him nagging, his guilt trips, none of it.

I wasn’t going to be preached at by him –

I hate anyone tries to rein me in.

Am I alone, ladies? Didn’t think so.

If he could have, he’d’ve killed me, I know,

But by that point, the feeling was mutual.

So, here’s the context I need to give you all.

The real reason I tore that page out his book,

And he box mi left ear wid a right hook:

See, he quoted from this book night and day

It was his Bible.

HUSBAND RYAN

My gospels, I’d say,

Of Saints Farrell, Moxon, Peterson, Strauss –

ALVITA

(Like this was a joke to bring down the house.)

HUSBAND RYAN

It’s made of some books I’ve put together,

Twelve Rules of Life; The Myth of Male Power;

The Game; something called The Woman Racket;

ALVITA

(Some mental crap he got off the Internet …)

HUSBAND RYAN

So then this became my new daily thing:

Whenever I wasn’t busy studying

For my Master’s –

ALVITA

– he read this stuff on crap wives.