‘I should be here for a few more morning clinics,’ she says. ‘You can come in and see me whenever you’d like. Nurse Govern…’ She taps at the name badge by her upside-down watch. ‘And there’s no need to bring your sister next time. Not now we know each other.’

I can’t help but turn back to look at her as I leave. She’s still standing, watching me, lit up by the sun behind her.

~~~

Outside, I practically have to run to keep up with Rach, but bounce backwards as she suddenly spins round to glare at me.

‘What?’ I brush my hair out of my eyes, pulling my blazer 95straight. ‘We’re sorted, aren’t we?’ Rach’s laugh makes my tummy flip.

‘You just don’t get it, do you? Now we’ve got social services up our arses too because you can’t keep it down!’ She hawks at my feet. It looks like a snail, all plump and wobbly in the dirt.

‘It’s never been a problem before, has it? And if I take the pill in the morning instead of at night then there won’t be any danger—’

‘Of puking it up?’ Her eyes blaze with her lighter as she pauses to spark a tab. ‘It can’t happen again, Carls. Like, ever. We’ve got to get this right, every time. Or else we’re toast, we’re proper fucked. We all are. We’ve been bringing the others in with us, remember?’

I notice red scratches running down her neck and around her collarbone as she looks away from me, wind blowing smoke back around her head as she exhales.

‘It was just the once,’ I mumble, scuffing over her snail with my wet shoe. ‘Sometimes they push down so hard I think I might swallow them whole. It’s not like it happens every time, is it? And if it ever does again, that nurse said I could come back whenever I wanted.’

‘Oh yeah?’ She rounds on me. ‘And what else did you say to that good old nurse?’

‘Nothing, I swear. I would never.’ I rub my foot into the dirt again. ‘Besides. Drina said I’d grow out of it.’

‘For fuck’s sake.’ I jump as she shouts, stamping out her cigarette. ‘What are you doing, talking to Drina about it? How many times do I have to tell you? We can’t talk about this stuff, Carls. Ever! We show up, we do, we leave. Neat and tidy, that’s the deal. It’s bad enough we’ve had to blag you the morning-after pill … the last thing we need now is Drina gobbing off about poor, spewy little Carly.’

‘She won’t,’ I gabble, wrapping my fingers around the cardboard box in my pocket. ‘She’s up to her neck in it, like us.’96