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Chapters (53)
  1. The Source
  2. Dedication
  3. Contents
  4. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  5. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996
  6. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  7. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996
  8. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  9. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996
  10. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  11. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996
  12. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  13. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996
  14. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  15. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996
  16. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  17. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996
  18. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  19. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  20. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  21. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  22. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  23. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  24. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  25. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  26. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  27. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  28. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  29. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  30. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  31. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  32. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  33. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  34. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1998
  35. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  36. Carly ~ London ~ 2001
  37. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  38. Carly ~ London ~ 2001
  39. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  40. Carly ~ London ~ 2001
  41. Marie ~ Just outside Warchester ~ 2006
  42. Carly ~ London ~ 2001
  43. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  44. Carly ~ Deptford ~ 2002
  45. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  46. Marie ~ Deptford ~ 2004
  47. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  48. Marie ~ London ~ 2005
  49. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  50. Marie ~ London ~ Six months later
  51. Acknowledgements
  52. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  53. Copyright

I catch my breath, all the questions straining to come tumbling out lodging into a plug in my throat, all the energy that had been fizzing round my body at the promise of a scoop now just buzzing away into the floor. Our precious trafficking tapes, every frame lacquered with tension, anticipation and elemental terror, just gamely stuck on pause, for who knows how long. And with every minute we do nothing, they get away with it. They keep getting away with it.

The third shadow sharpens, even as I dig fingers into my eyes, darkening as if she knows we’re all about to betray her.

70

Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996

‘Jase!’ I hiss at him as he walks ahead of me down the corridor, lumbering from foot to foot like he’s an elephant. I reach forward, trying and failing to grab the arm swinging at his side. My hand is still frozen from my first ever handshake.

‘Outside,’ he hisses back at me as he speeds up. One-two, one-two, one-two. I take two steps to every one of his.

‘What’s to stop me screaming my head off?’

‘Try it,’ he warns under his breath, ‘and I’ll rip your tongue out of your mouth.’

I swallow hard, staring at the back of his neck as he keeps walking. It’s as wide as his head. Same as the half-man, I think, but I’ll never find my way out unless I follow him. I gulp as we finally step out into the night air, willing the breeze’s kiss. Instead I just feel sick.

‘OK,’ I say, plucking at his elbow. ‘Now can we talk? I’ve done everything you said.’

I watch that muscle twitch in his cheek as he stares down the path back out on to Victory Field. He starts to walk, slowly this time so I can fall in step beside him.

‘You did good,’ he says, looking straight ahead. ‘I’m proud of you, OK? We’ll be alright for the next while if you can keep that up.’

‘Keep what up?’

He doesn’t reply, just keeps walking in a straight line like he’s a robot.

‘Who was that weird guy?’ I persist. ‘How come he can still be in the army without any legs? Doesn’t everyone need to be able to fight if they have to? Shoot, march, all that stuff?’

He snorts, speeding up again.71

‘Jase!’ I shout, blinking at the tears pricking my eyes. ‘Will you fucking stop and talk to me? It’s alright for you, all banter and jokes in the barracks, hot dinners, hot showers, clean clothes…’

I have to stop for a moment, suddenly heaving with sobs.