I stare into my skirt as she moves the small white box from her lap into mine.

‘You’ll need to take one pill now and the other in twelve hours. You might feel a bit weepy and tender for a few days, but don’t worry, that’s all normal. And remember to take your regular pill as usual, you won’t be protected otherwise.’

I reach for the box, turning it over and over in my fingers.

‘I think you and I both know that Rachel isn’t your sister, is she?’

I wrap both hands around the box before she can take it back.

‘It’s OK, love. I know you don’t want to have a baby, do you? You’re still a baby yourself…’

‘No, I’m not.’ I force myself to look up, staring at her hair rather than at her face. ‘I take care of myself, take care of everyone.’

‘It helps with our paperwork if we can say, and others can corroborate, that there was either an adult or family member present when prescribing these tablets to a minor,’ she continues, as if I wasn’t speaking too. ‘But the truth is, we will give them out regardless if we think withholding them poses a greater risk to the patient. What do you think about all that?’ 94

I blink at her hair.

‘You’re not in any trouble,’ she tries again. ‘Let me be very clear on that. You never told me Rachel was your sister. She didn’t either, come to that. I put the words in her mouth, to make it simpler for me and for you. I know she’s important to you. And I know it’s as important to you that you take these pills.’

Somehow her eyes find mine, dark, never-ending, like the inside of a telescope.

‘We’re here to help you, love. Just remember that. If there’s anything you’d like to tell me about your circumstances, or how you came to need this appointment … You’re not alone. You don’t need to go through this on your own.’

‘I’m not alone,’ I croak, trying and failing to tear my eyes away. ‘I’ve got Rach. She’ll see me right. She looks after me, takes me everywhere. She’s the one who brought me here.’

‘Yes, we’ve seen you both many times before, haven’t we?’ Her eyes harden.

‘I’m fine, OK? You don’t need to worry about us.’

I flinch as she stands with me, uncurling to her full height as I hide away the box. When she was sitting down, she looked like she’d be smaller than me.