BooksBarbecue
Back The Source Save as PDF
Chapters (53)
  1. The Source
  2. Dedication
  3. Contents
  4. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  5. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996
  6. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  7. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996
  8. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  9. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996
  10. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  11. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996
  12. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  13. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996
  14. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  15. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996
  16. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  17. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996
  18. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  19. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  20. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  21. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  22. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  23. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  24. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  25. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  26. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  27. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  28. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  29. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  30. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  31. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  32. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  33. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1997
  34. Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1998
  35. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  36. Carly ~ London ~ 2001
  37. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  38. Carly ~ London ~ 2001
  39. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  40. Carly ~ London ~ 2001
  41. Marie ~ Just outside Warchester ~ 2006
  42. Carly ~ London ~ 2001
  43. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  44. Carly ~ Deptford ~ 2002
  45. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  46. Marie ~ Deptford ~ 2004
  47. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  48. Marie ~ London ~ 2005
  49. Marie ~ London ~ 2006
  50. Marie ~ London ~ Six months later
  51. Acknowledgements
  52. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  53. Copyright

‘Instructions will follow,’ Xenon says as they shake, Dominic grunting further assent. Then all we’ve got to do is move one foot in front of the other, round corners and up steps until the gravel of the forecourt crunches under our feet. And only then can we walk with purpose, straight towards the iron gates in the distance, one-two, one-two, pasty spring sunlight catching in our eyes, wind like it’s stroking our hair.

That’s all we need to feel. Because we did it.

7

Carly ~ Warchester ~ 1996

‘You need to do it before you leave the house,’ Rach grumbles, sparking up another tab as we squat in the bushes lining the fence that separates school from Victory Field. ‘Like first thing. When you get dressed. What’s the point in doing it now? It’s not like anyone in this playground is going to give us money for another inch of your skinny knees…’

‘Well Timmy said Drina did it with him for a packet of fags,’ I mumble, waistband bunching in my fists as I roll it over again.

‘And since when do you want to make like Drina? Tesco legs – open all hours?’

She frowns at me, mouth puckered round her cigarette like a cat’s arse.

‘I don’t…’ I blush as I fiddle with my skirt. It’s got to go shorter. Not even a whistle from the builders on the way in. Let alone any coins. ‘I just wasn’t thinking, that’s all…’

‘That’s your problem,’ Rach interrupts, snapping off a leaf to burn. ‘You only think about useless shit. Numbers, puzzles, sums – give you a riddle and you’re away with the fairies. But how’s dreaming about any of that going to get us any real kicks in this dump?’

The leaf hisses, curling in on itself as her cigarette punches a perfect hole through its middle.

‘I’ll go the long way home,’ I say, poking a finger back into my waistband to smooth out a wrinkle. My finger finds a hole. At least two other girls must have worn this skirt before I got hold of it.

‘It’s Friday, they’ll all be out, trying to finish up early. I’ll just walk round and round the block till I get us something. Then if you go home the other way…’8

My finger traces the hip bone sharp below my skin.

‘That’s my girl,’ Rach says, snapping off another juicy leaf, all popping veins and plastic green, shrivelling as she burns a perfect four-leaf clover into its middle.

I smile. Suddenly there are four-leaf clovers everywhere as she murders her way through the bush. I’ve looked for hours, days even, practically mown half of Essex, never once found my own tiny stem of luck. And now Rach has made me loads.