To the untrained eye, it seems like a perfect place to work. There’s an old-school popcorn machine crackling 24/7 behind the reception desk, a neon sign reads “You Better Work Bitch,” a line from Britney Spears’s unforgettable classic, and a chalkboard wall boasts Polaroids showcasing a month’s worth of Outfit of the Days, determined by the cofounders themselves. Add to that the fully stocked kombucha fridge, the FriYay happy hours, and The Home Edit–level rainbow-organized snack pantry, you might forget that you’re expected to work eighty-hour weeks for a midlevel salary with no dental.

I recognized the truth behind this PR facade the second I arrived for my interview. Popcorn is the biggest snack offering because it’s a weight-loss-friendly food; “You Better Work Bitch” isn’t a cultish motto but an expectation: work even when you don’t need to and lean into it; the Outfit of the Day board isn’t only a sexist workplace bonding activity, but also a way for you to feel constantly judged by who you’re wearing and how well it fits you. All three of these things serve to brilliantly establish Brit and Ash’s powerful influence: they tell us what to eat, what to do, and what to wear. But they do it with a giggle and a smile so you don’t question the overflowing condescension. How can someone so pretty be so mean?

If you put a group of professionally tanned and blown-out women in Alice + Olivia pencil skirts and four-inch Celine heels in a room together, it’s not a means to a feminist revolution, but a way to ensure you never want to work with women again.

On top of that, as if we needed to give everyone another reason to hate our half of the species: everyone over thirty synchs up. I’m sure I’m not supposed to reveal this age-old secret, but it’s true. The kids are stuffed with diaphragms and IUDs, but for everyone even remotely close to starting a family, for about fifteen days a month discarded tampons overflow from the bathroom’s garbage. Because of this, four women in the office are currently pregnant, all due within two months, all about to cash in on that six-month, full-pay maternity leave Brit and Ash hoped their “You Better Work Bitch” mindset would keep anyone from redeeming.