‘Why didn’t you say?’

‘You caught me off guard.’ He jerked his thumb at William. ‘I know this looks strange. He’s a kid I removed myself a couple of months back. I got attached to him. I’m hoping to adopt him once I’ve got myself together.’

The cop looked at Steve a long time. ‘It does seem strange to me, to be honest, mate.’

‘I bet.’ Steve managed to laugh.

‘They didn’t mention you were a cop when they sent me down here.’

‘Must have been crossed wires somewhere.’ Steve tried to swallow but his mouth was dry. ‘You could call my boss, up in Sydney. Sergeant Perry. He’s based at Parramatta. He’ll vouch for me if you speak to him direct.’

He nodded slowly. ‘He’s signed this off, has he?’

‘That’s right. Got his permission before I headed down here.’ He looked away, feeling the lie in his face.

‘I don’t know, mate.’ The cop looked at his boots, weighing this up. ‘Don’t think I can walk away from here empty-handed.’

‘Speak to Ray,’ Steve said. ‘You don’t want to drive all the way up to Sydney with a baby if you can avoid it. Took me days to get down here with him, what with all the stopping and starting.’

William’s whine became a wail. The cop turned and looked out at the steep face of the beach, the gulls settled on the dunes. There was no one about for miles. ‘Maybe I’ll leave it for today. Give you the benefit of the doubt.’

Steve gave him a nod, forced a smile. He gripped the door frame for support.

The copper looked at William with distaste. ‘Do me a favour and keep him out of sight, would you? Don’t go attracting attention to yourselves.’

‘No worries,’ Steve said.

‘Sergeant Perry, was it? Parramatta?’

‘That’s the one, mate.’

The copper turned and started back towards the road, lifting his legs high to keep the sand out of his boots.

A call from Sydney. Steve let the phrase fill his head as he got the boy cleaned up. Mandy must have told them where they were. He needed to stay calm, keep that thought at bay for now. He wiped the boy down and noticed a rash across his belly and down his legs. Looked sore. He picked William up and felt the heat coming off his skin. Might be the start of a fever. He’d let him sleep a while. They’d have to wait till nightfall to load up the truck and get themselves ready to move on.

A call from Sydney. He sat on the bed and cried long and hard like a stupid bastard. William fell asleep on his shoulder, breathing hotly against his neck.

44

Sydney, 1997

The lights are on in every room when Isla gets home at midnight and the house has been turned upside down. She steps over a lamp which lies on the floor in the hall, its shade separated from its base. The table where the telephone stood has been turned over, upended on the carpet, surrounded by family photos, their frames smashed. Alongside them a ceramic jug lies cleaved open, its white belly exposed. She stands among the wreckage and wonders if she did this. It seems possible. She is three days into her relapse and the days are no longer distinct. She doesn’t know where she’s been, what she’s done.