He shifted from foot to foot, breathing noisily through his nose. He was less familiar since he left the force. He smelled of the house and the products they used around the place: bleach and carbolic soap. She wondered when he’d last gone further than the backyard.

‘I’ve been thinking. Maybe we should move away,’ he said. ‘Away from him next door. Somewhere nobody knows us.’

She went to protest and thought better of it. ‘I love it here,’ she said, as calm as she could manage.

‘We could tell people William’s adopted if we moved away. People would accept it.’

She caught something in his voice. ‘Did you speak to Ray about William?’

‘Not yet.’

‘I think you should call him. The longer you leave it, it’s more likely he’ll get a call from the Home.’

‘I can’t get hold of him,’ he said, deflated. ‘I think maybe he’s mad at me, for quitting the job. I left five or six messages and he hasn’t called back.’

‘He’ll come good, won’t he? After all you’ve done for him.’

‘But what if he doesn’t? What if he wants us to give William up?’

‘You said he’d arrange an adoption!’ She forgot to be calm. ‘You said it could all be arranged, we just had to ask.’

‘That was before, Mandy. When me and Ray were on good terms.’

She pulled the baby into her lap, closed her eyes and let him grab at her hair, her face.

‘We’d be better off making a new start.’ He said it firmly. ‘Maybe move south, to Victoria.’

‘We’ve lived here since we got married, Steve. I feel at home here.’

‘I know that.’

She kept her eyes shut. ‘I need to think about it.’

‘You want to stay near to Joe Green?’ His voice rose. ‘You want to keep running over there every time I shut my eyes for half an hour?’

‘That’s not it, Steve.’

‘What, then?’

‘My dad won’t know where I am if we move away.’ She looked up at him. She could just make him out. He had a strange look on his face, like he despised her, like he was hard at heart.

‘You could call him, Mandy. Pick up the phone.’

‘I did. The line was disconnected. I wrote letters too but he never replied.’ She felt his irritation. ‘You know how he is.’

‘I know he’s never liked me. Can’t say I care too much if we don’t keep in contact.’

‘He likes you fine.’

‘I’m not good enough for his daughter, but.’

‘That’s not true.’

‘He as good as said so once or twice.’

This was true, although it wasn’t personal, it was just her dad’s way. He’d taken against Steve before she’d even brought him home. It had hurt him, watching her drift into Steve’s orbit, her loyalties tipping. It had been a dry summer like this one and she’d never been so happy or so sad. Steve had worn his police blues the day he’d proposed, nervous and uncomfortable but brave enough to stand on her verandah with all her brothers watching, to ask her dad for her hand. He’d taken a ring from his pocket and she’d loved him completely. She remembered the feeling. No one else had existed.