It . . . something else, she responded. But how you feel?

Hurt, I texted her, needing no time at all to answer. Upset. I thought he liked me for ME.

Tell him that, Melissa texted back almost immediately. Don’t settle.

What would you do? I asked her next.

Melissa’s response didn’t come for some time, and it was just a short, Don’t know, followed by, We don’t need to be fixed. He can’t see that, not worth your time.

She was right. There was one thing I knew for certain. I was happy being Deaf, and I was not about to change that just because a cochlear implant might make my life easier. Just because Beau thought he was doing me a favor didn’t mean he actually was.

Beau was supposed to be a smart guy. He wouldn’t have gotten into Yale if he wasn’t. Why he wasn’t getting this was just baffling to me. And if he couldn’t understand this one thing I was so adamant about, then was it even worth it, trying to develop some kind of relationship when we both were just too different?

Chapter 35

CHAPTER 35

Walking into AP Statistics Monday morning, I made it very clear I was not ready to talk to Beau. Not once did I make eye contact with him as I took my regular seat and pulled out my homework and textbook. I could feel the tension coming off him in waves, and five minutes into the lesson I started to imagine I could hear him squirming in his seat.

Class was fifty-five minutes of torment, and I wasn’t sure how much of Mrs. Richardson’s lesson I actually absorbed. My mind would veer off every few minutes and I would start to think of everything I wanted to say to Beau, how badly I wanted him to understand that I did not need this kind of “help” from him. I didn’t need him to be my able-bodied savior.

I was up and out of my seat, shoving my things into my backpack, the moment Kathleen motioned to me that the bell had rung. I got about two steps toward the door when Beau’s hand came down on my shoulder.

CAN WE TALK? he signed when I finally brought myself to look at him.

NO, I signed back immediately, but had to follow it up with, NOT YET.

There was no way this whole thing could be put to rest without talking it through, but I wasn’t quite ready for it yet. And why not let him fret about it for a little bit longer? Maybe he’d start to feel the way I did.

I turned on my heel and left without waiting for Beau’s response, only stopping outside in the hallway for Kathleen to catch up to me.

WHAT’S WRONG? she signed when we rounded the corner into the next hallway.