“No, I’m sorry,” I said, taking in a deep breath. “I guess things just got . . . weird when we moved here. I’ve been having a hard time figuring out who I am.”

I KNOW, Mom signed with a wry smile. ART TELL ME THAT.

I nodded in agreement. My self-portrait from Ms. Phillip’s art class, still hanging in the living room, was pretty much the perfect example of how I’d been seeing myself ever since we moved to Colorado. Probably I wasn’t the only high school student that felt this way, Deaf or hearing.

NOW? I signed, grimacing.

Mom shrugged, signing, DON’T KNOW. YOU DECIDE.

Well, wasn’t that easier said than done?

Mom gave me a comforting pat on the leg and stood up, moving toward the door.

WANT BREAKFAST? she signed one-handed as she opened the door.

“No,” I said. “I want to go back to sleep.”

Mom gave me an understanding smile and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

I rolled over and yanked my blankets up and over me again, squeezing my eyes shut tight. Thoughts of Beau wouldn’t quit dancing across my mind, images of his smile with the dimples, the way he looked when he laughed.

Perhaps Mom was right and Beau really did just want to do what he could to help. But why couldn’t he have asked me about this himself instead of assuming I wanted a cochlear implant and needed help getting it to begin with? Who even made snap judgments like that?

You did, I thought suddenly, when I was seconds away from falling asleep again.

Hadn’t I thought for months that Beau was just some popular snob out to get brownie points for making friends with the new Deaf girl? Despite what happened, I still had to believe that was wrong and Beau genuinely did feel something for me.

I stuck a hand out from underneath my mountain of blankets and slapped around on my nightstand until I found my cell phone. I closed out all the text messages from Nina and one from Beau—Can we talk, please?—and typed up a text message to Melissa. This was one of those situations where you had to consult your best friend first before making any rash decisions.

Everything ok?? she texted alongside a frowny face emoji when she responded.

Not really, I texted back.

It took a few minutes to type up everything that had happened in the past few days. By the time I sent the message off to Melissa I had a short novella written, but it was the only way to get everything out and she wouldn’t mind anyway. The more details, the better for Melissa.

OMG was her response that came more quickly than I would’ve expected.

That was it. Just the three letters. Not really the help I was looking for.

Bad?? I texted back frantically.