It wasn’t technically the correct sign, but I knew well enough what he meant.

“A cochlear implant isn’t a cure-all, you know,” I said, maybe a little too harshly. “It’s an expensive and irreversible surgery with a lot of follow-up therapy. And even if I wanted one, it wouldn’t mean my life would automatically get better.”

Beau’s cheeks filled with color, maybe out of embarrassment or shame, I couldn’t tell, and he gave a short nod. He signed, SORRY, followed by, CURIOUS.

“They work for a lot of people, but it’s not for me,” I said firmly. “Trust me.”

Beau gave another quick nod, signing, OK.

“Maybe they were jerks anyway,” I said, my hand on the door handle as I prepared to step out of the car. “I think my hearing aids are cool.”

A smile took over Beau’s face as he signed, YES.

“Connor thinks they make me look like a top-secret spy.”

“. . . correct,” Beau said before he started laughing.

“And you know what? I got into my dream college. So there.”

I wasn’t going to give up on my job search after one failed near-interview, but this wasn’t a very encouraging start. And seeing how angry Beau got when he’d put two and two together and realized what I was pretty sure went down, I wasn’t too eager to repeat the experience. The chances of something like this happening again weren’t exactly impossible.

It didn’t always look the same way, but this was pretty much an everyday occurrence for me, someone getting weirded out for some reason or another because of my lack of hearing. Most people never said hello or good morning to me in the hallways at school, and some still stared whenever I started fiddling with my hearing aids or changed their batteries, even though my first day at Engelmann had been months ago.

Outside of school was even worse. Anywhere I went I almost always received the look, that pitying one I hated so much, even if I was doing something as simple as helping Mom grocery shop. And nobody needed that.

So, what was the future going to look like for me and Beau if he got upset and angry over something like this anytime it happened? Beau worked hard for the things he achieved, and I knew that, but he’d never have to work the way I did just to get the simple things some people were handed on a silver platter.

On my way up the driveway after saying good-bye to Beau, I started to wonder if it was finally time to start addressing the differences between our two worlds.

Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31