“Well, you don’t know that, do you?”

“I know. Everyone knows. It says so in the books of the Kings.”

“But what if he was just a normal-size bloke, and David was a more diminutive hero, like myself? A smaller fellow—with a huge schlong, of course.” I nodded at the bloody obviousness of the last point.

“Goes without saying,” added Jessica, nodding along with me.

Shylock repointed his twitching, accusatory digit at his daughter. “You do not say such things in my house. You—you—you—you—”

“Run along, love, it appears that Papa’s been stricken with an apoplexy of the second person.”

“I’m finished,” said the lovely Jewess. She stood and breezed by her father and out the front door.

Shylock turned back to me. “What—”

I stood, and held my hand to Shylock’s face to have him hold his tongue. “I sensed treachery afoot in Antonio’s ranks, so knowing that their only loyalty would be to profit, I took the ducat to bribe one of Antonio’s men. He arranged to meet me in a private place and told me that Antonio intends to assassinate you tomorrow night when you join him for dinner, so he will be released from his bond. After informing me thus, two of Antonio’s men set upon me with knives, no doubt thinking I had more gold on my person, but certain with the intent that I would never return to you with this warning. So, I have bled for you and your gold, Shylock.” I held my arms out so he could look upon the knife wound, the claw marks on my sides, the bruises on my back and shoulders where Viv had thrown me against the wall.

Shylock’s rage ran from his face with what was left of the color. “But his bond will not be broken upon my death.”

“But he does not know the law. Which is why you must go to his house with the two huge Jews, Ham and Japheth, attending you. Eat with him, and before you send your attendants away, share with him the circumstances of the bond—confabulate some outrageous legacy that goes beyond Jessica, so he will know that he may never be released by murder. Your bond over Antonio is the only reason he would risk venturing murder. He would only risk running astray of the law to avoid confronting it later, should you call your bond due.”

“But surely his men have told him now of your escape. He will not expect me to come into his trap.”