Chapters (42)
- Contents
- The Cast
- The Stage
- Map of Venice
- Map of Italy
- Act I: Fortunato’s Fate
- One: The Trap
- Two: The Dark
- Three: A Spot of Bother
- Four: How Much for the Monkey?
- Five: Ladies of the Lagoon
- Six: The Players
- Act II: The Watery City
- Seven: La Giudecca
- Eight: A Pound of Flesh
- Nine: Two Thousand Nine Hundred and Ninety-nine Golden Ducats
- Ten: Intrigue Beneath the Bawd
- Eleven: Siren Ascending
- Twelve: To Belmont and Beyond
- Act III: The Moor of Venice
- Thirteen: Bold and Saucy Wrongs
- Fourteen: A World of Sighs
- Fifteen: What Wicked Webs
- Sixteen: A Nasty Piece of Work
- Seventeen: A Fool’s Ransom
- Act IV: The Green-eyed Monster
- Eighteen: Cloak, Dagger, Wimple, and Veil
- Nineteen: Well Met in Corsica Once More
- Twenty: The Art of Persuasion
- Act V: A Pound of Flesh
- Twenty-one: Savage Puppets
- Twenty-two: No Shit, Shylock
- Twenty-three: The Trial
- Twenty-four: The Verdict
- Twenty-five: Arise! Black Vengeance!
- Twenty-six: Off Jolly Rogering!
- Afterword
- About the Author
- Also by Christopher Moore
- Credits
- Copyright
- About the Publisher
Portia stood, composed herself, and looked over the railing at where her needlepoint might have sailed. She turned and looked surprised as the doorman entered.
“Madame, Signor Antonio Donnola, a merchant of Venice, with two associates, Signors Gratiano and Bassanio, to pay their respects to the lady.”
“Oh, I remember Signor Bassanio,” said Portia, a crinkle of a smile sparkling in her gray-blue eyes. “Fetch refreshment, and bring some flowers for this dreary table. And, Nerissa, fetch those three daggers in their leather harness we found among father’s things. Antonio will know which of Father’s friends left them.”
“Yes, madame.”
CHORUS: And so, chained in the dark, naked and bedeviled by a hellish creature unknown, after five changings of the tides, the fool went mad.
I am not mad!
CHORUS: Fear did twist the jester’s tiny mind—stretch it past the limits of sanity until it snapped—and shivering and pale, he went mad.
I am not mad!
CHORUS: Stark, raving mad. Bonkers. Drooling, frothing, barking mad.
I am not bloody mad, you berk!
CHORUS: You’re shouting at a disembodied voice in the dark.
Oh, fuckstockings. Good point. Well, a bit knackered, perhaps, but not bloody mad. Although who could blame me, really, if I had taken a stroll down Barking at the Moon Lane, what with the poisoning, the thirst and starvation, the wounds, the pervasive darkness, and the fearsome creature lurking in the water, waiting to rend me to bloody shreds, and so forth. Enough, really, to put even the most sturdy bloke off his regimen, and I, a wan and wispy crafter of japes, what chance did I have to cling to sanity’s silken tether?
I kept my mind busy during low tides, like now, by plotting intricate tortures and revenges upon my captor, between sobbing and moaning piteously over my lost Cordelia, my freedom, and my exile from light and warmth. Between bouts of soul-crushing despair, I busy myself slurping sips of water from my arm. A small triumph, the steady dripping from above that clapped on the ledge by my hand, like the tick of my life’s clock running down, has turned out to be my life blood. It is freshwater, you see, no doubt leaking from some cistern above, and if I am determined, and I position my chains just so, I can drink enough as it runs down the chains and my arm to quell the thirst. Sometimes I busy myself by singing a song, or shrieking until my voice breaks. But when the tide is high and the chamber fills with warm seawater, then she comes, and this dark hell is a different place.