“I’d say that plan has gone solidly tits up.”

“I think she overestimated the persuasive abilities she honed bargaining with shoe salesmen. Truth be told, though, she is talented. They’d all be barefoot if the trial had gone in that direction.”

Shylock stropped his knife two more strokes on the leather sheath, then moved up on Antonio to lay the blade across his bare chest.

“Wait!” said Portia.

“Wait!” said Bassanio.

“Wait!” said Iago.

“Wait!” said I.

“You go,” said Portia to Bassanio.

“After you,” said Iago to Portia.

“Go ahead,” said I. Actually, I was just going to request that Shylock dull the knife a bit so it would be more painful. For all his noble civility, Antonio had been complicit in murdering my Cordelia and me, not to mention giving the order to kill Shylock, and no doubt Jessica if he’d had the chance. But it appeared that the others would draw it out.

“Antonio,” said Bassanio. “I am married to a wife which is as dear to me as life itself and all the world, but I would here sacrifice her and all to save you, my friend.”

Portia threw out a hip, betraying her womanly shape beneath the man’s clothes. “So, you would offer up your wife to Shylock in place of your friend, Bassanio?”

“Not for the pound of flesh part, just for the night, I thought.”

Even Shylock looked at Bassanio like he’d lost his mind.

“She is most beautiful and smells of rosebuds,” added Bassanio.

“I’m cutting him,” said Shylock.

“Wait!” said Portia. “While this bond gives you a pound of flesh, it allows you no blood. So you may take your pound of flesh, but by the laws of Venice, if you spill one drop of Christian blood in the process, then your life will be forfeit and all of your lands and goods shall go to the state.”

“This is the law?” asked Shylock.

“It is,” said Portia.

“Then I’ll have the nine thousand ducats, and let Antonio go.”

“No!” said Portia. “The Jew shall have all justice, and only the penalty.”

“Fine,” said Shylock. “I’ll take this fellow’s wife for the night.”

“That is not part of the bond. Even Bassanio may not have his wife for the night. For several nights.”

“That is the law?” asked Bassanio.

“It is,” answered Portia. “So, Shylock, prepare to cut off the flesh, but shed no blood, nor take thee less than one pound by even a jot, nor more by the weight of a hair, but one pound exactly.”

“Exactly?” said Shylock. He looked to the doge. “The young judge is just making this up as he goes along. Give me my principal and let me go.”

“I have it ready, here,” said Bassanio.

“He has refused it in open court,” said Portia. “He shall have his bond, and nothing more, to be taken at his peril.”