“Still, on this day, in this boat, with this chest of borrowed gold, I am certain of one thing, as if I have only just broken the seal on certainty itself: I shall be an excellent husband to Portia! And in so being, an excellent friend, in that I will cancel Antonio’s debt before even one of his ships returns and repay all my back debts to the rest of you. I shall henceforth be an excellent trader, shrewd with experience forged from my myriad losses, and in my demeanor and wisdom, an excellent man overall, redeemed by the love of fair Portia.”

“If you choose the right casket.”

“It is all but assured, good Gratiano. For the message from Salanio brought me by the gondolier assures it.”

“If, indeed, the gondolier was sent by Salanio, unsteady as he has been, buggering off to Cyprus with Lorenzo without notice.”

“Oh, the message came from him most assuredly, for the gondolier had Salanio’s jeweled dagger, given him to assure delivery of the message and affirm its authenticity.”

“That dagger has no brothers, there is only one like it.”

“You see,” said Bassanio. “Here is the dock.” To the men who guarded the dock at Belmont, he called, “You there, send servants to help us. We bear a chest of gold too heavy to carry without ungentlemanly grunting and sweating.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” said Gratiano under his breath.

When the lawyers had confirmed the amount of the gold, it was taken away and Bassanio and Gratiano were led to the foyer.

Portia made her traditionally grand entrance down the stairs, followed by Nerissa, but this time, rather than standing off and waiting for praise, when Bassanio bowed, Portia rushed forward and curtsied before him with great enthusiasm, lifting her skirts to show her newest and most fabulous shoes, the soles of which were as smooth and unscarred as Portia herself, and which slid on the marble floor as if on ice, depositing the lady in a position of the “full splits,” from which she was not immediately able to rise.

“Oh, Bassanio,” said she.

“Dear Portia,” said he.

“The day, the time, the moment is upon us, and I have wished nothing but that you be here, with me.”

“And I with you. Please rise, lady.”

She did not rise.

Nerissa, still standing on the bottom step, looked over the head of the lovers to Gratiano, who she had not remembered as being quite so handsome. He smiled and returned her eye roll.

“I would have you know,” said Portia, “if I were not bound by the legacy of my father, all that is mine would be yours, as would I, but these naughty times put bars between owners and their rights, for surely, without cruel lottery, my heart is yours already.”

“And mine yours, sweet Portia. Arise!”