I waited for more, but then he sat back, thought for a moment, and said, “No.” He stood and returned to his meat cutting.

“What do you mean ‘no’? You can’t start and not finish.”

He slammed the side of beef back down on the cutting table. “I tell this story only once. Your friend should be here when I do. Bring your friend and I will tell you both about that day.”

Then he gave me four pork chops, cut thick like they used to in the days when meat was meat, and he sent me on my way.

17. A Traumatic Experience I’ll Live to Regret, Assuming I Live

Just as she had promised, Lexie sprung a top-secret trauma attack on her grandfather. It came without warning (without me being warned, that is) the morning after my visit to the Night Butcher. It was Saturday. A day I should have been able to sleep late. As I was tossing and turning all night with unpleasant dreams about meat, I was dead to the world when the phone rang. My mom practically had to use heart paddles to wake me up.

“She says it’s important,” my mom said, shoving the phone into my hand. “I don’t know what could be so important at seven in the morning.”

“Hewwo?” I said, sounding more like Elmer Fudd than I truly want to admit.

“Today’s the day,” Lexie said excitedly on the end of the line. “Everything’s set for noon.”

“Huh? What everything do you mean?” I croaked out.

“Trauma therapy,” she whispered. “My grandfather—remember?”

I groaned, and Lexie got all annoyed.

“Well, if you don’t want to help, you don’t have to come. It’s not like you’re under any obligation.”

“No, no,” I said. “I want to help,” which was true. Traumatizing Old Man Crawley was actually pretty high on my list of Things I’d Most Like to Do. “What do you need me to bring?”

“Just yourself,” she said, “And Calvin. Tell him I want him to come, too.”

“Why don’t you tell him?”

Lexie hesitated. “I haven’t spoken to him since the day we all broke up.”

After Lexie hung up, I dialed the Schwa. It rang once, and I hung up. My encounter with the Night Butcher was still fresh in my mind, and I knew if I talked to him, he’d hear something funny in my voice. I wanted to tell him about it, but a sensitive matter like this had to be handled carefully, at the right time and place.

The phone rang, and figuring it was Lexie again, I picked it right up.

“Hi, Antsy, it’s Calvin.”

“Schwa?” He caught me completely off guard.

“Yeah. You rang a second ago. So what’s up?”

He had star-sixty-nined me. Curse telephone technology. “Uh . . . so whatcha up to today?”