“Is he a sin or a virtue?” the Schwa asked, but it goes right over Howie’s head.

I thought he might offer to help us walk the dogs, at least for a minute, but his hands stayed firmly shoved in his pockets. “Is Crawley as crazy as they say?”

I tugged on the leash to keep Lust from going after a passing poodle. “Well, let’s put it this way: If he’s got bats in his belfry, he nails them to the wall to watch them wriggle.”

The Schwa laughed.

“He’s real mean, huh?” says Howie.

“He hates the world and the world hates him right back.” What I didn’t say was how much the nasty old guy was growing on me. I actually looked forward to seeing him, just so I could irritate him.

Right about now Howie looks over his shoulder like the FBI might be reporting his activities to his parents, who have recently begun a policy of preemptive grounding. “Listen, I gotta go. So long, Antsy,” and he takes off.

It would have been all fine and good, except for one thing. He didn’t say good-bye to the Schwa. It seemed to slip his mind that the Schwa was even there. I could tell the Schwa didn’t like this, but he didn’t say anything about it—he just looked down at Hope, who was happily sniffing gum spots on the sidewalk.

We were heading back to Crawley’s for the next two dogs when the Schwa broke the silence. “They didn’t even notice it was orange?” he said.

“What?”

“The sombrero. Not a single person noticed it was orange? Not a single person even noticed it was a sombrero?”

It was the first time he had mentioned the experiments. When we were doing them, he seemed fine. He took a scientific interest in the results. It had never occurred to me that they might have bothered him.

“Not one.”

“Hmm,” he said, shaking his head. “Go figure.”

“Hey, it’s not a bad thing,” I told him. “This Schwa Effect. It’s a natural ability—you know, like those people who can memorize the phone book and stuff—‘idiot savants.’” This was just getting worse by the minute. “Anyway, it’s a skill you oughta be proud of.”

“Yeah? Well, tell me how proud you feel when you don’t get a report card because the teacher forgot to make you one. Or when the bus doesn’t stop for you because the driver doesn’t notice you’re at the stop. Or when your own father makes dinner for himself but not for you because it slipped his mind that you were there.”

“You’re making that up,” I finally said. “That doesn’t happen.”

“Oh yeah? Come to my house for dinner sometime.”