“You didn’t knock,” I said, keeping my face down. “You’re not allowed in here without written permission from a Teacher. Produce a pass, or leave.”

“I’m not leaving. We had a fight, but I’m still your friend.”

My chest constricted. “I didn’t ask for your friendship, Jetson.”

“You didn’t have to, Arika. Are you going somewhere?”

His eyes were boring into the back of my skull.

“You told me before that you needed one night,” Jetson said.

“Then you would answer all of my questions.”

I went to my desk and began riffling around blindly, opening and closing drawers. I had to get through the next hour. Just this one hour, then I would face the next.

Jetson went on. “If you think you can’t trust me, you’re wrong. I’m just about the only one you can trust.”

I took out ink, several quills, and a new notebook. I placed them in my bag and pulled the straps shut, cinching them tightly. A piece of bambi broke off in my bandaged palm and the throb in my little finger intensified.

“Is this what you really want—to be alone? If so, tell me and I’ll leave.”

Tears dropped from my eyes. “Oh, Jetson, do you really believe any of us can get what we want?”

“Not here, with Jones watching our every move, but at Hasting.” He came up behind me, trying to pull me around. “A change is coming. The New Seed will usher in a new age for the Kongo. We’ll make a bid for more power in the Assembly. We might even—well, Covington was talking about reinstituting marriage.”

My heart cramped. “Oh, Jetson!” I turned, revealing my damaged face.

He shrank back. There was only one person capable of such violence. “What did you do to her?”

“Nothing,” I said. “Don’t you see? You were right. It’s not logical. It doesn’t make sense. We have no control, and we never will. This is what we get when we bid for power.”

“Did she find out you were in the village? Did that scum from the Vine tell her?”

I turned away, seeing he would never understand. He still believed Hosea was the problem. He still believed there was a solution. “It’s not Hosea’s fault,” I said. “Jones already knew I was there. She knew everything.”

“It’s his fault you were there in the first place. You shouldn’t have gone.”

I thought about that. If I hadn’t gone to the village, I would never have met Kiwi, Sky, Fount, or the others. I would not have tried to save them. I would be at my desk now, studying. The black book, in my secret compartment, would be ready to give to Jones in the morning. I would still have a perfect record and the illusion of safety that it brought me.