‘Claire, listen to me and listen to me very carefully. Paul will recover from this. We won’t get the police involved. Yes, he will probably get expelled. But he will go to a new school and everything will be fine and forgotten about.’ Her mother stroked Claire’s cheek and continued. ‘But… if you tell the school now what really happened, it will be your reputation that is brought into question. And trust me, Claire, girls never recover from such situations. Do you understand me? You’re sixteen years old – you have your whole life ahead of you.’

Claire searched out her mother’s eyes, trying to comprehend what she was hearing. ‘But you and Dad have always told me to do the right thing,’ protested Claire.

‘Claire, I’m not totally convinced that he’s completely innocent in all this. You say it was all your idea but was it? Was it really?’

Claire thought back. Yes, it was.

Wasn’t it?

When she’d visited Paul at his house and they’d lain on the bed together, she always knew he wanted more. But he’d never pushed her.

Had he?

There was the one time he’d put his hand up her shirt and when she’d gently pulled it away, he tried again. But didn’t all boys do that? Try it on? Had she actually said no to him then? Claire pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead in frustration. It was all becoming such a confusing mess in her head. She’d spent the last few hours convinced that she needed to own up and now here her mother was telling her to leave things alone. If she did own up, she knew she would be a social pariah at school. But there would only be two more years and then she would be off to university. She could cope with being ostracised for two years… surely?

She thought of Jennifer O’Reilly, the ousted Queen Bee, walking the corridors by herself, her only companion the odd lobbed insult. Lunch by herself. Break time by herself. No one willing to partner with her in class. No one picking her for sports teams.

‘I promise you, love, in this case, it’s least said, soonest mended and I know your dad would agree.’

As Claire looked up at her mother, she started to believe her mother was right. Paul would move on. He had the brains to succeed whichever school he was in. Whereas she would always be known as the girl who had cried rape and it would follow her everywhere. Castlefield was a small town. She’d hugged her mother then, for the first time feeling relieved that someone had made the decision for her.

July 2018

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