When she came back from that holiday, her tanned skin showing off the diamond, she didn’t think she’d ever seen her mother so happy. Claire had looked at the ring and she had to agree that its impressive size, cut and clarity were a stunning symbol of everything she had to look forward to in a future with Chris.

32

The first thing Paul did when he got back to his bedsit from work or the youth centre each evening was turn on his computer. He felt the hum of anticipation as he logged on to his social media accounts. He found Facebook the most useful and had hacked into several profiles as well as created different accounts for himself. He connected with Claire as Dr Bradley, a law professor at the University of London, who rarely posted on Facebook. Claire, however, had always been surprisingly active on her account and he’d found it easy to trace a lot of her movements and keep up to date with her life. It was certainly easier than trailing her. He hated going back to Castlefield and rarely ventured into the town.

Although he doubted anyone would recognise him when he walked the streets, he still remembered the fear of being jumped on by Gavin and his mates. While he’d watched Claire’s house many times, he’d never been back to his own childhood home. Let someone else have it – it was a shithole anyway, haunted with violence and secrets.

Paul clicked on Claire’s profile and quickly scanned to see if there was a new update since the day before. There wasn’t and, disappointed, he searched through her other social media accounts, knowing it was unlikely he would be rewarded today. Claire was active on Twitter but only to communicate legal updates, and she rarely used Instagram. He didn’t believe she had any other profiles, apart from a fairly static LinkedIn page, although he checked regularly.

His task finished, he sat back in the chair, thinking what to do next. He knew he shouldn’t stay on his computer, typing, clicking, and scrolling through other profiles of people from his past, but it was like a scab that wouldn’t stop itching. As he leaned in to the monitor, his eyes held hostage by the screen, he burned with resentment as he frantically browsed, their successful lives a stark contrast to his own.

*

It was past eleven at night when he finally shut down. The hours hadn’t been for nothing though. During that time, a notification had popped up on Facebook saying Claire had posted an update and as he clicked on to her profile, he’d been rewarded with a photo of Chris, Joshua and Jamie, although he was disappointed Claire wasn’t in it.

My boys x