‘I remember that some of the guys from the group had disappeared during the night for a while or rather they seemed to be taking it in turns to leave the VIP area. I assumed they were snorting coke in the toilets. I don’t remember the time exactly, but I remember Rose was dancing with the other girl. And then three other guys came along who Rose’s friend seemed to know and they joined the table. Their names were Lee, Nick, and Armin. Rose’s friend introduced me to them as well as to the floppy-hair guys Rose had first come in with. I didn’t talk to any of them really but I did hear them talk about an after-party.

‘By this time, it was almost one in the morning. Everyone was pretty drunk and high. The after-party was at a friend of Lee’s house. One of the original guys in the group seemed put out because he kept trying to dance with Rose but she was all over the place, dancing with one guy, then another, then having a drinking competition. Her friend was sat on Armin’s lap and they were at it pretty heavily. I probably would have left then if the party hadn’t been near my flat but it was in Crossway Avenue, so I thought I’d go for a free drink and then head home. An hour max. Except Rose and her friend had an argument because her friend didn’t want to go to the after-party.’

April 2018

42

Claire, having somehow got out of bed and managing to get dressed, sat at her dresser and looked at herself in the mirror, tiredness making her look old. Since talking to Joshua, she’d barely slept, the crushing weight of worry snaking its way through her body, refusing to let her rest. As agreed, she hadn’t been into the office although she’d talked to Julia several times on the phone. Julia kept referencing her time off as if she was on holiday.

Just to catch up with yourself while we sort this out. Those had been her exact words and Claire thought of them now. Catch up with yourself. What did that even mean? She couldn’t sleep, she couldn’t eat, or concentrate or sit and read a magazine. She felt trapped in a void, stuck in a no-man’s land, helpless to help her son. And Chris. Where was he? The one person who should have been able to support her had gone on a business trip to America. How convenient. He’d not offered to cancel it or even to postpone it. He’d simply packed his bag and got ready to go. When she’d questioned him, he’d shrugged. It’s all a misunderstanding. It will all be sorted by the time I’m back.

Claire had looked at him in disbelief. Our lives are falling apart and that’s all you can say?