“Lisa’s having an affair—”

“With who?”

“I don’t remember. Does it matter?”

“Of course it matters, Alex.” She sighed, shaking her head with exasperation. “You’re completely useless.”

“Nonsense. You think I’m delightful. Say, how’s the book?”

Connie snorted, glaring at the abandoned book out of the corner of her eye. “It’s quite possibly the most boring thing I’ve ever had the displeasure to come across. Even more boring than you.”

“Surely it’s not that bad.”

“It is. I fucking hate English.”

“Do you want me to help you?”

“As if. They’d know straight away I didn’t write it when they see there’s no spelling mistakes.”

“Your spellings aren’t that bad—”

“They are and you know it. Bit stupid that you’d help me out with my homework but you never do your own anymore.”

“That’s kinda what Claire wanted to talk to me about this morning. She’s worried I’m slipping.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I mean, she’s not wrong. I’ve done fuck all this year.”

“It’s TY, who gives a shit?” Connie threw me a taunting smile and leaned back, nodding her head along to the beat of “Dreams.” “Maybe she’ll take you out and send you to Holy Faith.”

“Christ. Thanks, but no thanks.”

“Or, even worse—a private school.”

I shuddered, wincing. “I think I’d off myself before she had the chance. You know, I always wondered why your parents didn’t send you to private school. Did they go to Catholic schools?”

“Dunno. I’m not sure Mam even went to school, thick as she is. Michael’s is the best school around, isn’t it? Plus, if we went anywhere else we’d have to drive and I honestly don’t think Mam has a license. They just decided not to, in the end. You’re lucky with Claire.”

“Unless she sends me to private school to get me away from you.” The two of us shared a smile before I lay down, facing the ceiling. “I don’t know what the big deal is, I did mostly grand in the Inters—”

“Grand? You aced it, you git.”

“I aced English and History. The rest were just grand.”

“How does it not bore you, reading all those stupid books? Who cares who won what war or what some gobshite five hundred years ago got up to?”

I shrugged. “My grandad was mad into History. He used to take me to museums and shit when I was younger so I’ve always been interested in History. Same with Geography. And my grandparents spoke fluent Irish too, which is why I like that.”

“But they’re so boring!”

“Class might be boring, sure, but if you look into stuff yourself it’s actually interesting. There’s nothing better than coming across a fun fact. I read this one time, you know, that Robert Emmett’s grand—nephew was the man who—”

Connie groaned, holding up a hand. “Not today, Alex. My brain is already on the verge of combusting.” I frowned at her but she smiled back. “So, your grandparents are to blame for you being such a smug nerd, then? Is Claire a big brainbox too?”