“Didn’t look that way.” Max tugs the bill of his baseball cap down low. “She looked pretty upset. I didn’t want to make it worse, so I left.”

Was this why she didn’t spend the night? All her forced smiles start to make sense. I was so worried about my problems that I’d completely missed hers. I nearly drop my phone as I pull up her number. “I need to call her.”

Max grabs a shovel and nods to the stalls next to us. “I need to clean these. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Yeah,” I say as I head back down the road. I wait until I have better cell service before I call.

Olivia immediately picks up. “Lulu?”

“Hey, you okay?”

Her voice quivers so much I can barely make out the words. “My dad left.”

“What?” I don’t know what the right thing to say is. I press the phone harder against my cheek.

“They’ve been fighting, and last night—” She’s crying hard now, her words swimming in tears. I’ve heard Olivia cry only once before, when we watched Charlotte’s Web at school. By lunch she was back to her smiley self. The difference now is clear in each sob, her pain reaching me through the phone.

“Where are you? Are you at home?” I start walking as fast as I can. It doesn’t feel right using Max’s money to call for another Uber, and it will take me thirty minutes to walk to the bus stop on the main road.

I check to make sure I have my Marin Transit Youth Pass. I’d started riding the bus to school at the end of last year to make it easier on Gram. Even so, nerves jitter low in my stomach. It’s one thing to ride with other kids I know and another to ride by myself.

But Olivia needs me.

“Y-yes. Can you come?” Her voice cracks.

“I’ll be there in an hour. I’m so, so sorry about your dad, Olivia.”

“Text me when you get here.”

“Okay. I’m on my way.”

I hang up and keep walking down the gravel road. The sun beats down and melts my guilt until it sticks to me like taffy. How can I call myself Olivia’s best friend? Since she never said anything about her parents fighting, I hadn’t even tried to figure out what was bothering her. I always think of her as the one who needs all the attention. What if I’m the one who isn’t happy unless it’s all about me?

My boots rub against my heels. When I sit down on the bus, I pull one off and peel the sock off a newly formed blister.

I put my boot back on. I deserve the burning pain of it.

18. Insula the Great