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Contents ( 126)
  1. The Meeting Point
  2. Olivia Lara
  3. Contents
  4. One
  5. Two
  6. Three
  7. Four
  8. Five
  9. Six
  10. Seven
  11. Eight
  12. Nine
  13. Ten
  14. Eleven
  15. Twelve
  16. Thirteen
  17. A YEAR LATER
  18. Fourteen
  19. Fifteen
  20. June 2
  21. Sixteen
  22. Seventeen
  23. Eighteen
  24. Nineteen
  25. Twenty
  26. Twenty-One
  27. Twenty-Two
  28. Twenty-Three
  29. June 3
  30. Twenty-Four
  31. Twenty-Five
  32. June 4
  33. Twenty-Six
  34. Twenty-Seven
  35. Twenty-Eight
  36. Help Wanted: Seasonal employment, June–August
  37. Twenty-Nine
  38. Thirty
  39. Thirty-One
  40. June 5
  41. Thirty-Two
  42. Thirty-Three
  43. June 6
  44. Thirty-Four
  45. Thirty-Five
  46. June 7
  47. Thirty-Six
  48. Thirty-Seven
  49. Thirty-Eight
  50. Thirty-Nine
  51. June 8
  52. Forty
  53. Forty-One
  54. June 9
  55. Forty-Two
  56. Forty-Three
  57. Forty-Four
  58. Forty-Five
  59. Forty-Six
  60. Forty-Seven
  61. Forty-Eight
  62. Forty-Nine
  63. Fifty
  64. Fifty-One
  65. June After Midnight: By Ethan Delphy
  66. Chapter 15
  67. Fifty-Two
  68. June After Midnight
  69. Chapter 20
  70. Fifty-Three
  71. June After Midnight
  72. Chapter 21
  73. June After Midnight
  74. Chapter 22
  75. Fifty-Four
  76. June After Midnight
  77. Chapter 28
  78. Fifty-Five
  79. June After Midnight
  80. Chapter 29
  81. June After Midnight
  82. Chapter 30
  83. Fifty-Six
  84. Fifty-Seven
  85. June 11
  86. Fifty-Eight
  87. Fifty-Nine
  88. Sixty
  89. Sixty-One
  90. Sixty-Two
  91. June 12
  92. Sixty-Three
  93. Sixty-Four
  94. Sixty-Five
  95. June 13
  96. Sixty-Six
  97. Sixty-Seven
  98. Sixty-Eight
  99. Sixty-Nine
  100. June 14
  101. Seventy
  102. Seventy-One
  103. Seventy-Two
  104. Seventy-Three
  105. Seventy-Four
  106. June 15
  107. Seventy-Five
  108. Seventy-Six
  109. Seventy-Seven
  110. Seventy-Eight
  111. Seventy-Nine
  112. Eighty
  113. Eighty-One
  114. June 16
  115. Eighty-Two
  116. Eighty-Three
  117. Eighty-Four
  118. Eighty-Five
  119. June After Midnight
  120. Chapter 28 (Draft 1 Version)
  121. Eighty-Six
  122. Eighty-Seven
  123. Eighty-Eight
  124. Acknowledgments
  125. About the Author
  126. Also by Olivia Lara

Three hours later, I’m all packed, and my letter to David is sitting on the kitchen table.

David,

I’m sorry. I wish I could start this letter with something other than regret, but—

I’m sorry I haven’t been more honest about my feelings over the last year. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you all this to your face. You know I’m always much better in writing. I tend to get flustered face to face and I back down, let myself be influenced and persuaded. And I guess that’s why I’m doing it now. Because you cannot look into my eyes and convince me to give this another chance. I haven’t been happy. It’s hard to explain why, but it’s not only your fault. I did accuse you of cheating and was never able to get past that, but that’s not the only reason.

You see, that day in California, I met someone. Someone who changed my life and I’ve been feeling rather lost since then. I feel trapped in our life. In New York. In my job. I need to get away and start fresh. You deserve someone who is just like you: they know who they are and what they want, and they are set on getting it no matter what. You deserve someone who loves you above everything else. I’m afraid and I’m sorry to say, that person is not me.

I’m struggling with what I want and who I want to be. I know I’m kind of old for this and I should have it all clear by now, but I don’t. I’m struggling with what kind of relationship I want and what I think I should feel for the other person to be sure they are the one for me.

I’m not certain you cheated on me. Either way, I should’ve been strong that day and ended it, but I wasn’t, and I’m sorry I dragged this on for as long as I did, when deep down I knew there was no road ahead for the two of us, together.

I know you will be OK and you will find your happiness. I’m sorry it wasn’t with me.

Goodbye,

Maya

Maybe my departure will surprise him. Perhaps my letter will make him sad at first. But after he gives it some thought, I’m sure he’ll feel relieved. We’re not right for each other and although I don’t hold grudges, I do have regrets. One in particular.

The backpack I had with me in Carmel last year is by the door. Seeing it there, remembering that day, I realize how much the last three hundred days have weighed me down.

Maybe at twenty-two, I was too young to know. At twenty-three I thought I was in love, at twenty-four I was blinded by the possibilities, and at twenty-five, he made promises I wanted to believe. Maybe at twenty-six I still hoped. But at twenty-seven, I knew what I should’ve done, and I didn’t do it. This is my regret. Not wasting five years but one. And undoubtedly, never having the opportunity to get that one year back, the year that could’ve forever changed my life.