Playboy, was her assessment. He’s a total playboy. She could just about wager that if she looked him up on Instagram there’d be photo after photo of him in varying states of undress and in a smorgasbord of exotic locales around the country, if not the world. She bet none of them would feature a smile – only a pout – and that if he hadn’t applied for Love Island directly he had at least imagined that if he did, he’d get on it. He was that kind of man. That kind of playboy.

‘I don’t get to come home too often,’ the playboy said to her, reaching out a hand, inviting her to shake it, ‘and truly, I’ll miss it all the more now I know what my local has become. My compliments,’ he added. ‘This was the best meal I’ve had in a long time. And sorry we were so loud. There’s no excuse. We’re just a bit twattish after a drink.’

Penny didn’t stand, but extended a hand in return.

‘You’re very kind,’ she said, primly. ‘Thank you.’

He waited for her to say something else, but Penny refused. She was knackered, emotional, and didn’t have time for men who acted like louts and drunk drove.

‘Did you grow up here?’ the playboy pressed. ‘The barperson – they said something about you being related to Dave?’

‘David,’ Penny responded, taking the last drag of her cigarette.

‘Oh, yes. David. I called him Dave – it was a bit of a joke between us.’

Penny stood to go back inside and take that nap she’d promised herself.

‘Not very talkative today?’

Penny raised her eyebrows. ‘I’m just tired, and have a lot to do.’ She knew she was being overtly stand-offish, so also added: ‘Thank you so much for telling me you enjoyed it. Have a good afternoon.’

He wouldn’t let her go.

‘You weren’t at Havingley School, were you?’ he said to her back. ‘I feel like I recognize you.’ She turned around again to face him. ‘How old are you?’

Penny audibly exhaled. ‘I just had my birthday. I’m thirty-one. And yes, I was.’

‘I knew I knew your face! I’m Thomas. Thomas Eddlington. I was in the year above you.’

Penny narrowed her eyes, trying to place him. ‘Did you used to go out with Veronica Meadows?’

The playboy – Thomas – let out a hoot. ‘Yes! Verny! She’s married now, to her university boyfriend. Got two kids and a big house in Sheffield.’

‘Good for her,’ Penny said. ‘I mean, unless she left you for the man she’s married to now. In which case, sucks to be you.’ The playboy laughed.

‘No, no, we were long over. I think I might have snogged her mate, actually. All very immature.’

‘How shocking.’

‘Hey, don’t judge me on one loud lunch. I said sorry!’