‘And I’m not saying I’m going to marry him, but … I have to admit that it feels weird to be discussing this now. Even a month ago if we’d have talked about this I’d have said, “Okay, sod it, great, shall we start next week?” But now … not that I want to change my plans for a man, but … this feels different. Worth the pause.’ She issued a funny noise from the back of her throat. ‘Bloody hell, I felt like a bad feminist for wanting a bloody kid in the first place, and now I feel like a bad feminist for waiting. I can’t win with myself.’

‘Hey,’ said Clementine. ‘I’m not going anywhere. The offer isn’t going anywhere. I’m here in the autumn but we can always figure it out for whenever you’re ready. This autumn, next year, in five years. I just really wanted to tell you.’

‘What did I do to deserve a sister like you?’ Penny asked.

‘Well, you were basically my mother growing up, so there’s that.’

‘Talking about becoming a mum makes me miss her even more, you know. Maybe that’s why it feels so pressing to me. Bringing a new life into the world, being a parent … I could know what she felt like when she had us.’

‘I think that’s why I want to help, too. It’s a way for her to live on a bit, isn’t it?’

‘Yeah,’ said Penny. ‘It is.’

7

When Penny got home there was a bouquet in her hallway. ‘For no other reason than you make me want to be the kind of man who sends flowers,’ the note said, and it was signed ‘F’ with a kiss after.

Penny knew that life was too short not to think about a baby when that was a burning desire for her, but also that the baby really could wait if love – or something like it – was on the table. Maybe Francesco could stomach a conversation about it. Maybe this is what she had been looking for every time she’d stalled: the ‘us’. And as for the sex – they’d figure it out. Maybe they could go to a class, or a therapist. Maybe they just needed to watch some porn together.

Penny texted him: They’re gorgeous, and you’re wonderful. Thank you x. She felt genuinely fond of him. He was just so nice. Why did that feel so radical? A man! Being nice! To her!!!

Francesco replied: I can’t get you out of my head.

Penny smelled the roses. She couldn’t get him out of her head either. It made her want to tell Uncle David about him.

‘Davvy?’ Penny said over FaceTime, seeing her uncle’s ear and shouting to the screen. ‘Davvy! It’s video! Show me your face!’