He had kissed her – kissed her everywhere. Penny had let his tongue roam her body, her cheeks, her chin, her breasts, her thighs, between her legs. She had undressed him, and pushed him onto the sofa, rolling a condom onto him and straddling his lap. She’d braced herself for the feeling of being filled, of handing herself over to him, of their two bodies becoming one … but it wasn’t working.

‘What if I go on top?’ Francesco said.

‘Yeah, okay,’ Penny murmured, moving off him and lying back.

He loomed over her, and she grumbled, ‘I just – these cushions. I’ll just move these …’ She picked up a throw pillow and dropped it to the floor.

Silently, and with increasing half-heartedness, Francesco pumped away. His eyes were scrunched closed in intense concentration. Penny coughed a little. She’d been hugely turned on but now things felt significantly less … lubricated.

Francesco stopped for a second to wipe hair from his clammy brow.

They made eye contact and smiled, Francesco going to speak but seeing that Penny was about to, and Penny going to speak but seeing Francesco was about to, and so both nervously giggling and neither saying anything until Francesco uttered, gingerly: ‘Should we stop?’

Penny said, ‘Yeah. It’s okay. Let’s stop.’

The relief was palpable to them both.

6

Penny couldn’t believe it. Hadn’t she and Sharon joked about this exact outcome – that a man as handsome as Francesco would be rubbish in bed?

‘Clemmie!’ Penny said in a panicked Personal Podcast. ‘What the hell! I knew it was too good to be true!’ Clementine had replied telling her not to be so bloody precious.

‘Bad sex happens to good people,’ Clementine said in response. ‘Remember when you were sleeping with that anonymous sex blogger you refused to introduce anyone to, but he was the best sex you’d had since Mo? You know why he was the best sex you’d had, don’t you? Because it was the only time you felt close to him. It’s easy to have good sex without any emotions because in bed is the only time you truly connected. But if you and this handsome Italian are all, go! go! go! connection central! outside of the bedroom, maybe there’s a bit more riding on what happens when the lights go out. It’s not like you don’t fancy him, is it? You do fancy him. So I’m afraid the only thing to do is chill out and try again, sis. Also, can you book train tickets for Eric’s birthday weekend? And is your Italian stallion coming too?’

Penny had texted her back as soon as she’d listened to what Clementine had to say.

It’s irritating that you have such perspective on my life, Penny typed. I would say ‘screw you’, but obviously the person I’ve got to screw, again, is Francesco.