‘Well, I was rather hoping to see the proprietress,’ Penny could hear from up in the bar. His voice was booming and commanding, and it was Penny’s default response to roll her eyes. She couldn’t help it. ‘It seems rather improper that I don’t deal with the person in charge.’

Penny stepped a few inches closer to the ladder up to the bar where he was talking with Charlie. She knew she should see the wine merchant, but she couldn’t be bothered to paint on a smile and be charming today. Not when her perfectly capable front of house manager was there and was much better at getting rid of him quickly. What was it about men who liked their own voices and could never take a hint? He should respect Charlie’s authority, Penny thought.

Charlie said, ‘Unless you want to scramble down those steps through the cobwebs and into the underground cellar in your three-piece suit, I don’t think today’s your day.’

Good on ya, thought Penny. You tell him.

‘David always gave me the time,’ the man continued. ‘This is the second time I’ve been by and she’s busy. I’d hate to take it personally.’

‘Priyesh, are you after a free lunch? Is that what this is all about?’

‘Hardly,’ Priyesh replied. ‘I can buy my own lunch, and you know that. Although David did often try out his dishes on me. I’ve got a very attuned palate, you know.’

‘I am sure you do,’ Charlie said. ‘Listen. We need a minute before we figure out the last seasonal order, if that’s okay. I just found out we’re closing after December twenty-fifth and Penny has discovered whole crates of stuff we didn’t know we had, so we’re getting the lay of the land.’

‘Perhaps I could assist …’ Priyesh began.

‘We’ll let you know if we need anything. Penny is pretty au fait with wine. David taught her a lot.’

‘Well, we know who schooled David.’

Penny made a gagging noise from the floor below him. He truly was the most boring person to have ever crossed The Red Panda’s threshold. She had no idea how Uncle David managed him – she’d have to ask next time they spoke.

‘Thanks so much for understanding, and for dropping by unannounced personally. That’s quite the service,’ Charlie smiled, and Penny could tell from their voice it was through gritted teeth.

‘Well, as I said. I was rather hoping to see Penelope.’

‘She just goes by Penny,’ Charlie sighed. ‘I don’t think we’re supposed to rename people without their permission.’

‘I see,’ Priyesh said. ‘Penny. Very well. Please do pass along my calling card to her and tell her I look forward to an audience just as soon as we might find a time of mutual convenience. I’m doing my best not to take offence, and yet here we are.’