‘I think it’s lovely,’ Clementine had replied, somewhere north of Beijing where she’d been called in to oversee a planning issue with the local government. ‘And if you’re not sleeping together yet at least you’re not getting – oh gosh, what word does Sharon use? Dickmatized! At least you’re not getting dickmatized. I think it’s actually quite romantic, taking the time to get to know somebody before you go to bed with them. I think the new sexual revolution is actually about realizing there’s more to intimate relationships than sex.’

Sharon had guffawed when Penny had reported that back.

‘I love your sister,’ she said, wiping tears of amusement from her eyes, ‘and I, too, am thrilled you’re not getting dickmatized. But let’s face it, you’re not going to marry a shit shag, are you? It’s a bit important.’

She held up her thumb and forefinger to emphasize ‘a bit’, looked down at her gesture, and then wordlessly increased it in size.

‘Give me a minute,’ Penny squealed, knocking her hand away jokingly. ‘Five days post-kiss hardly makes me the Virgin Mary.’

‘No,’ said Sharon. ‘You’re right. Enjoy it for what it is! The world could end tomorrow!’

‘Well, if the world was to end tomorrow …’ Penny sniggered, and they both hooted with laughter, knowing that the imminent end of the world might speed things up a bit.

At home that night, as Penny lounged in her cosiest tracksuit, idly wondering what to watch on telly for the hour before bed, her phone rang, and Francesco’s face popped up on screen. Penny stared at it. He was calling her? Who calls anyone anymore? she mused. She loved hearing from him and everything, but a phone call? At least a Personal Podcast could be listened to in one’s own time. The only people who made phone calls anymore, Penny had assumed, were the boomer generation, like Uncle David. She continued to stare at it, not knowing what to do. Penny knew actual husband and wives who didn’t even talk on the phone.

As it stopped ringing and ‘one missed call’ appeared as a notification, Penny turned over the possibilities.

Did you just try to call me? she texted.

Yeah. It’s okay, Francesco replied. I just finished my shift. I can try later if you’re free?

Penny was confused. To talk on the phone? she replied.

That’s what normally happens when one person dials the other, and that other person picks up, yeah.

Oh. Yeah, sure. Later.

Penny switched from her WhatsApp with Francesco to voice note her sister.

‘This is not a drill,’ she said, down the phone. ‘The Italian wants to talk on the phone with me. We have a psychopath on our hands. Repeat: we have a psychopath on our hands.’

Her phone screen lit up with Francesco’s face again.