“Because of the people. The other trip leaders, and the campers who came with us. They were always changing. If you think about it, Bea, life is like a trip. A very long one. And what matters most is the people you travel with.”

—

I think it’s the same with weddings. There’s a lot that looks the same about them: everyone gets dressed up, says words, eats food, and gives presents. But the people at weddings are always different. And it’s the people who matter. With the right people, you can carry your boat and it doesn’t even feel that heavy.

Followed by Food and Dancing

The party after a wedding is called a reception. Our reception was supposed to be “food and dancing.” That’s what the invitations said: Followed by food and dancing. But for the first twenty minutes, it was more like “standing around talking and pretending to be happy.” I think everyone was pretending to be extra happy, to make up for what had happened.

Dad was happy, he told me later. He just wasn’t extra happy.

They had decided no speeches, because Jesse said speeches took time away from food and dancing. After a while, though, Dad tapped his glass with a spoon, and everyone got quiet right away, like they had been waiting for this.

Dad said, “I don’t know why good days are sometimes also difficult days, but this is a good, difficult day for our family, and I’m grateful to every person here for sharing both parts of it with us. We love all of you, everyone in this room.” He stopped. Then he said, “Thank you.”

There was about five seconds of clapping, and then it got quiet again, like something else was supposed to happen.

I raised my hand. Dad tilted his head and said, “Bea?” It was kind of funny, I guess, me raising my hand like I thought I was in school, but no one laughed.

I said, “Can I stand on a chair? I want to say something.” I don’t think anyone grown knows what it’s like to be short in a crowd. It’s like a lot of backs.

Mom was right behind me with a chair. She held my hand while I got up on it. Suddenly I was looking at everyone’s faces.

That’s when I realized I didn’t know what to say. I waited, like Miriam would have wanted me to. I took a minute. Inside my head, I said: Even though Mission pushed the cake over and made everyone feel bad, especially Jesse and Sheila, I think we should celebrate, because we made a new family today. That’s why we’re here—to see it born. I think we should be dancing.

What I said out loud was, “We made a new family today. I think we should be dancing.”

Everyone waited. But I was done.