Watching Stuart with his parents is eye-opening. He jokes around. His mother play-hits his arm when he teases her, laughing. Ben always treated his mum and dad as if their visits were something to be endured rather than enjoyed. Suzanne cannot do enough for Stuart and it makes me wonder if it’s because she rarely sees him or if it’s because their relationship is naturally like that.

I want to get to know her, and therefore Stuart, better.

When Stuart and Kevin begin an involved conversation about whether it would be a waste of money to invest in repairs to Stuart’s current boat or buy a newish one, I turn to Felix and Emily.

“Why don’t you two go and watch a movie?” I say. “There are lots of new ones to choose from.”

I’ve resorted to stockpiling them because being a full-time mother is harder than I’d anticipated. I’ve started to do things I used to judge Nina for, like relying on the TV when I’m desperate for privacy or to get things done.

“Suzanne, there’s something I’ve been meaning to bring up. I haven’t said anything to Stuart, so please don’t think I’m being meddlesome—”

“Marie, my dear, you most certainly are not meddlesome. This is the most welcome we have ever felt in Stuart’s home.” She claps her hand to her mouth. “I mean...”

Loyalty dictates that I stand up for Nina, but pride at my warm hospitality feels good.

“It’s okay. Nina was my closest friend. I know what she was like. She needed a lot of time on her own. She could be very private.”

“Really?”

“Oh, I assumed that was what you meant.”

“Oh, no, not at all. Nina was very hospitable and kind. No, I meant she had to work hard when we were here to hide her unhappiness. I got the impression that she and Stuart were having problems.”

“Nina never said anything of the sort to me. Their marriage was as good as perfect.” I pause. “I envied them at times, I admit.”

Suzanne glances over at Kevin as if to check that he can’t overhear before she says, “It’s simply not possible that everything was fine all of the time. Believe me, it’s not realistic.”

“Perhaps. But because I knew her so well, I can picture what she’d do in certain situations. I’d have known if she was particularly unhappy. I’d have sensed it before she’d even confided in me.”

“People hide things from those closest to them for many reasons,” she says. “Shame, guilt, fear, a desire not to add to the problems of others.”

“Suzanne, I don’t know how to word this diplomatically, so I’m just going to come out with it. If Nina wasn’t happy with Stuart, she wouldn’t have stayed with him. She didn’t feel bound by loyalty the way most of us do. Nina was...unique.”

Selfish is the word I’d like to use.

I change the subject, concerned that I’ve just come across as disloyal.