“Stuart’s exhausted, he’s probably gone to bed,” I lie—he’s a night owl. “Besides, we have things to catch up on, too.” I pull my phone out from my pocket and open our family calendar. “Let’s see...Stuart and I are free on Saturday at three. How about you come round here with Lulu, did you say your daughter’s name was? Felix and Emily would love to meet her.”

“Yes. It’s short for Louise. I’d rather—”

“Stuart and I would love to meet Louise, too.” I lower my voice. “It’s early days still, things can be overwhelming. Saturday will hopefully be a better day.”

“Sure. I understand.” What else can she say?

“What’s your number?” I ask, adding her to my contacts as she says it out loud.

It feels strange typing her name. It jolts me into remembering that she’s the type of person with whom it pays to be firm. I pull the door open wider and shudder. I should put my car in the garage; the windscreen will be covered in ice by morning.

“Tamsin?” I call out.

She appears.

“Thanks for all your help,” I say.

Despite the cold, I stand at the door watching as they head for their respective cars. I don’t want them to feel comfortable enough to hang about and bond further by discussing my haste to get them to leave or my obvious protectiveness of Stuart. I wave as they pull away. By the time their lights disappear and I close the door, I’m shivering. I email Christian requesting an extra appointment with him tomorrow. He responds within minutes.

As luck would have it, I’ve had a late cancellation...

Did he really? I’m naturally suspicious. Perhaps I judge people by my own standards. I wasn’t really expecting him to come to my aid, I just like the safety blanket of mentally having someone to fall back on. He has availability at eight thirty, which will be right in the middle of the get-them-to-school mayhem. Stuart will have to deal with it alone.

Despite a long bath and a chapter of a new novel (I always download the next book club choice immediately), I can’t settle. It’s not just Camilla I think about—who, annoyingly, I discovered, still isn’t much into social media—it’s Nina, Ben and even Stuart, who remains downstairs in the study. I didn’t say good night, I can’t face mentioning Camilla to him yet, so I left him a note on the kitchen table.

Didn’t want to disturb you. I’ll be out early in the morning so see you tomorrow night! Mx

“Have you ever tried journaling?” asks Christian.

I feel stupid for making an emergency appointment because clearly there’s nothing wrong with me now; I was just unsettled at having been caught off guard in my own environment.

“Not really.”

“Some find that it helps. Different things can help different people. Other clients have tried art therapy, meditation or they write down their dreams.”

It sounds wishy-washy to me, but I don’t wish to appear ungrateful, so I smile and nod as though I’m giving his ideas serious consideration. As a result, I feel compelled to talk about something to make this charade worthwhile for us both.