I felt disconnected, like everyone else had faded away and it was just me. I heard (well, I didn’t, obviously, but I felt extremely close to) those who weren’t there. My future children, too, not just Nina.

I heard a cough, but it came from the distance. Briefly, I caught sight of rows of expectant faces. Greg’s, come to think of it now, among them. There were all these expressions: Ben’s concern, Stuart’s fear, Deborah’s look of I knew this wouldn’t be a good idea... It gave me fresh impetus.

As I spoke, my voice filled the church, and although it was clear, it didn’t sound like me.

“Nina was the best friend anyone could ask for. She was always there for me and it saddens me that I couldn’t be there for her in the same way. I made her a solemn promise, though.” I looked up when I said this and stared directly at Stuart. “That I would look after her family. That I would remind her children of what she was like as a child, the things we did, and always be there to answer any questions, to fill in the gaps.”

I was briefly yanked out of my mission by a memory. Jealousy. I was jealous when I wasn’t made Emily’s godmother as well as Felix’s. I felt excluded and I showed my anger by making an excuse not to come to Emily’s christening, citing some ridiculous reason that was clearly made up. Nina was disappointed, but not as disappointed as I was in myself. I vowed then and there, no matter what cost to myself, that I would make amends. I don’t know what came over me—my behavior was unacceptable.

However, the pressure of well, everything... It suddenly dawned on me, right there in front of everyone, that Nina was gone. And then...it was all a blur as I broke down. I will never forget the collective looks of concern while I was guided outside by Ben, sobbing.

But that was then. Greg can’t possibly be thinking back to that time. Nina and I used to discuss how things could be worse in my mind, things that other people didn’t give a moment’s thought to. Although, it’s not always the case. I take a breath.

“Greg,” I say with a smile. “It’s admirable that you’re trying to protect her. But what is there to protect her from? Sadly, she’s gone. I’m her children’s stepmother in every practical sense. They have a sibling on the way and it’s my job to protect my family.”

“If I thought there was anything that would help you, I’d tell you. But there isn’t.”

I use Christian’s technique. Silence is an extremely powerful weapon.

He gives in.

“Marie...you’ve got what you clearly wanted. You were envious of Nina. It was obvious to anyone who saw you together. You were so grateful to be a part of her life. It’s not a bad thing. People feel jealousy, rage, envy, all sorts. It’s natural to feel the negative and the positive. I’ve yet to encounter a person who doesn’t, but the speed at which you gleefully took over has left a few of us a bit shell-shocked. It will take time for people to accept the situation.”