“Well...there’s nothing to think. We don’t have anything to hide,” Stuart says.

“That’s true.”

As I stand up, long-forgotten hope resurfaces. This is not exactly how I intended things to happen, but I’m going to make it work for everyone’s sake.

“I think we should tell Deborah together,” I suggest. “Reassure her that the arrangement is practical and workable, and that nothing will change.”

“Good idea.”

As I sip hot chocolate and watch Em pick the marshmallows out from hers with a teaspoon, I see an elderly couple glance over. They both smile at me. I smile back. Finally, I know what acceptance feels like. I’ve craved it for so long. Stuart and I are going to make a great team—I’ll make sure of it. Before long, he’ll struggle to cope without me.

I take out my camera and capture the moment. If it wasn’t insensitive to do so, I would caption it in the memory album of Nina’s life which I’m creating for Felix and Em with something along the lines of Fresh Beginnings.

Stuart and I smile at each other. Nina trusted that my loyalty to her was unshakeable, that I’d do whatever it took to fulfill her wishes. Gratitude was never her strongest point, but this has made everything I ever put myself through worthwhile. I briefly close my eyes and send her a silent thank-you.

Emily is staring at me when I open my eyes. She always was a tricky child. I felt betrayed when Nina had chosen a random woman from her prenatal group to be Em’s godmother, but now, thanks to Ben and Stuart, I’m in a much stronger position to influence her behavior for the better. Nina was too soft on her. Seeing as I’ve just relearned the hard way that change is inevitable, I’ll start as I mean to go on. It won’t take me long to train Emily. She’s old enough to learn decent manners.

I smile at her, but she doesn’t reciprocate.

It stings.

I sip the dregs of my hot chocolate, even though it’s gone cold, to distract myself, to stop my mouth twisting in displeasure.

I, more than anyone, can appreciate the benefits of playing the long game.

Six

Trust someone to pour cold water over my happiness.

“It doesn’t sound like a good idea to me at all, love,” my dad says. “You wrecked your relationship with Ben over Nina and her family, and now you’re stopping yourself moving on by letting yourself get sucked back in to Nina’s affairs all over again.”

He takes a sip from his pint of cider. He has one every Saturday lunchtime at his local. I joined him today because, usually, I love spending time with my father.

“Ben had an affair, Dad. Nina is no longer with us.”

“I worry about you,” he says. “Even now you put her above yourself. It’s not right.”

“I wish I hadn’t said anything,” I say, folding my arms, my teenage self resurfacing. “It’s only for a few months, and it’s good for me, Stuart and those poor children. It’s only temporary while we all figure out a new normality.”