I bring my eyes to his, but it’s not his face I see at all.

It’s mine.

Hands reach for my neck, and everything shatters.

I throw myself out of bed, gasping for air like I’ve been submerged underwater. My skin is layered in sweat. It feels like someone is squeezing my heart so tight that pain is radiating through my veins, and it takes a moment to remember where I am.

I spot the row of leather-bound books and the mirror hanging from the wall, and everything floods back to me. Not just about Infinity, but about my family, too. All the things I should’ve said and didn’t. All the time I wasted doing things that didn’t matter.

And I remember what the Colony wants me to do.

Stumbling for the door, I don’t bother putting my boots on. I’m too desperate for air.

I yank the wrought-iron handle, fighting the chill of metal against my bare feet as I lunge for the nearest railing. From three levels up, the world below is small—but not small enough.

Ignoring the looks being thrown my way by strangers who no longer bother with sleep, I make my way across the platform and climb stairway after stairway. Some are made of polished bamboo; others are made of stretched bark. When my energy starts to return, I race up the steps two at a time, desperate to reach the top.

The highest point of the Colony is more of a lookout than a roof. It’s the size of a tennis court, with mixed-and-matched branches serving as a railing and a floor made entirely of slate.

I collapse in the center, pressing my forehead against the cool stone. It hurts to breathe. To think. I clutch my fingertips against the surface until my nails scrape at the rock, just to remind myself that I’m still here. That I’m still me.

The Colony was supposed to be a safe haven, where surviving was my only job. But now surviving isn’t enough. Now they want me to join the fight.

They want me to become a spy.

And the worst part isn’t just the fear, and the uncertainty—it’s that I don’t think I can say no, even if I want to.

I feel like I’m in the car again, answering Lucy’s phone call and finding out everyone was depending on me. If I’d said no then, I might still be alive. But now? If I say no, I’ll be taking away the Colony’s only chance to gather information they’ve never had before.

They need this to try to win the war. They need me.

What does that say about me if I have the opportunity to make a difference—to change the tides—and I run away from it because I’m afraid?