She nods. “They usually do. Maybe because a lot of people subconsciously want them gone, or because they never felt defined by them. I don’t really know what it is that makes us enter Infinity without the wounds and marks we had in life. But Ahmet? He brought his scar back. He said he wanted to feel like himself, and his scar was a part of him for so long that he didn’t feel right without it. He said it reminded him that he was still human.

“Annika believes dreams are what separate humans from Rezzies, and that’s true. But Ahmet believes it’s our flaws that keep us human. He says it helps him focus—to remember he isn’t a god.”

“If I were a god, this would all be so much easier,” I say dully.

“But we’re not gods. Or superheroes. Or magical wizards from another dimension. And trying to be those things will only end in disappointment. So next time, don’t think about being anyone other than who you are. Because our ability to control our consciousness? That’s the most human thing in this world.”

“Be more human,” I say. As if that’s not the problem.

Being human is exactly the reason I feel so weak. Because yes, humans are flawed. But not all flaws are helpful. Some of them get in the way, like being too scared to defend yourself, or giving in to peer pressure, or keeping secrets you probably shouldn’t.

If I didn’t have my flaws—if I were less human—maybe I could be better in this world.

“What’s wrong?” Shura asks. If she could bundle up all my worries and take them away with her, I think she would. She has that look in her eyes—the look of someone who genuinely cares.

I breathe out, and the air seems to collapse out of my lungs. “You all make it seem so easy, but it’s not. I wasn’t built strong. I was eighteen when I was murdered. If I was too weak to survive a stranger with a gun, how am I supposed to survive a Resident army?”

“You didn’t die because you were weak,” she says gently, and there’s a wisp of sadness in her voice.

My shoulders sink. “But it feels like that. And now I’m here, and everything about this world is overwhelming. How am I supposed to protect myself in a place I don’t fully understand? I’ve hardly even seen it.” I shake my head, depleted. “Even Naoko had to roam Neo Tokyo before she could understand what she was fighting for.”

“Who?” Shura pulls her face back, confused.

I manage a weak smile. “It’s a character my dad created. She’s a robot who was being hunted by humans.”

Shura’s eyes widen. “Excuse me?”