“It doesn’t matter anymore,” I say at last. “He’s just someone who has an entire life to live. An entire lifetime worth of memories that will eventually add up and I will be nothing more than a tiny blip to him. Which is kind of bullshit, isn’t it? To die young and know that everyone you love will love other people, and you’re just existing in the afterlife, knowing that the person who’s the most important to you is slowly becoming the most important to someone else.”

My breath catches. I wait for the confession to make me feel better, but it doesn’t.

There’s nothing cathartic about discussing my own death.

Gil’s mouth twitches. “I was asking about the man who shot you.”

“Oh.” I fight the burn in my cheeks. “I didn’t know him. He was robbing a gas station and…” When my voice starts to shake, I clamp down on my anger. “He took something from me I’ll never get back. All I can do now is pretend he never existed.”

“Is that how you conquer your enemies? By ignoring them?”

“No,” I snap. “But it’s not like I can go back in time. And even if I could, I’m not a fighter. I don’t have powers like the rest of you.” I picture the gun, and the girl, and the split second it took to make my decision. I wouldn’t have been able to stop him, I plead with my own mind, hoping it will somehow make all of this easier to deal with.

Gil walks back to the books, running a finger over one of the spines like he’s searching for a memory. “For what it’s worth, nobody has powers. We simply have the ability to manipulate the world around us. Some of us are naturally better in certain areas than others, but all of it can be learned.” He hesitates before glancing my way. “Even by you.”

I tuck my hair behind my ears and give in to my curiosity. “If Ophelia created this place, how is it possible that we can still change it? Shouldn’t she have some kind of fail-safe that stops humans from becoming stronger?”

“Would you prefer if we couldn’t fight back?”

“Of course not,” I say, flustered. “I’m just trying to understand how Infinity works.” And how I’m ever going to fit in it.

Gil lets out a patronizing sigh. “Ophelia didn’t create Infinity—humans did. She can build as many courts as she wants, but she can’t stop us from interacting with this world.”

“Not unless we take the pill,” I say grimly.

He nods. “The heart of Infinity will always belong to humans first. It’s part of the reason Ophelia resents us so much. Without humans, Infinity would cease to exist.”