And I deserve paradise. At least, I feel like I do. I was a pretty good sister to Mei. I respected my parents, and I was always nice to cashiers. I’ve never been in a fight. I’ve never cheated on anyone or did something horrible behind someone’s back. And okay, sometimes I’d talk to Finn about how selfish Lucy could be, but that was just venting. Nobody gets through life without venting now and then.

Not to mention I was murdered. They’ll probably refer to me as a “child” in the news. That has to deserve paradise, right?

And yet…

I make a face, shifting pieces of this puzzle around in my mind, trying to make sense of what I’m seeing. What I’m hearing.

The man’s expression reflects only patience.

Still, I shake my head. “Why didn’t anyone explain all this when I first woke up, instead of trying to give me fake pills?”

“We didn’t want to overwhelm you,” he answers simply.

“I don’t care about being overwhelmed—I care about being deceived,” I argue, surprised at how bold death has made me. I’ve never spoken to a stranger like this before, but something has changed inside of me. Something that’s urging me to fight.

Another light flickers nearby, and this time when I turn, I see them along the floor—an entire trail of white lights along the edges of the corridor, moving away from me in a continuous, fluid motion.

When I look back at the man, he’s still watching me like he hasn’t noticed them at all.

An odd smile is plastered across his stiff face. “This is how we’ve always done things.”

“Why do you keep saying ‘we,’ like you’re different from me? Are you—” I hesitate, chewing at my thoughts like they’ve gone stale. “Are you an angel?”

He raises his eyebrows. “Nothing so fantastical. We are merely here to help you transition.” A moment passes, like he’s waiting for me to soak in the information. “I can see you’re suffering. The ache in your head is nothing compared to the ache in your soul. You did not have a gentle death, and for that I’m truly sorry.”

The pop of the bullet echoes in my head. I hope that little girl is okay. I hope Mei is okay too.

Does she know I’m gone yet?

I pull my eyes away and try to keep my shoulders from trembling. Maybe I’m too angry to think clearly.

The man tilts his head slightly, coaxing my attention back to him. “Infinity offers you peace. When you drink from the fountain, your pain will leave and never return. Fear, regret, worry—they won’t exist anymore. You will live the life your mind truly desires. A life of happiness, existing in your own paradise.”

“What’s the other option?” I ask quietly.