I couldn’t speak. Just sat shivering while he rowed us back to shore. ‘Pleased to tell you that you’ve passed the first stage of this section of training,’ he said as he helped me out of the boat. ‘Now it’s time for the next stage. The part we’ve been working towards.’

He pointed towards the crag.

‘But … Sarge,’ I said, my teeth chattering. ‘I …’

I couldn’t get any words out. I was so cold. So scared.

‘The target is on the move,’ he said, walking ahead of me towards the crag. ‘We have to locate it and get into position.’

I just stood there, shivering uncontrollably. ‘MOVE!’ he yelled. So I followed him.

It was difficult to climb in wet clothes and I could feel myself slipping as we got to the higher part of the crag. I wanted Sarge to help me, to lift me on his shoulders like he used to when I was little, but he didn’t even look back at me, just kept on striding ahead. It was at this point that my head began to clear and I tried to make sense of what had just happened on the lake. Why had he done it? Why had he changed the plan? Why did he look surprised when he pulled me out of the water? Still, I knew that it wouldn’t help to ask these questions of Sarge while we were in the middle of the mission so I followed him obediently and kept my mouth shut.

When we reached the hide Sarge knelt down and located the rifle and binoculars. He handed me the gun then put the binoculars to his eyes.

‘We’re set,’ he said, lowering them. ‘It’s all down to you now.’

I got into position and tried to raise the gun but my arms were hurting from struggling in the water. I put the gun down and rubbed them. They felt sore and hard but I knew I’d have to ignore the pain and get through this test otherwise Sarge would be even more angry. I could see the target wandering in and out of view. I could hear Sarge’s words in my head as I picked up the gun, my arms throbbing with pain, and got ready to fire. ‘You’ll know as soon as you pull that trigger if it’s a hit or a miss.’ I thought about the last time. The rabbit I left half alive with its leg hanging off and the look on Sarge’s face when he turned to me and said, ‘You haven’t killed her.’ And I told myself in those few seconds that I had to do it this time. I had to make the kill. I widened my eyes, kept them fixed on the target, then on a count of three I pulled the trigger.

This time I was ready for the explosion, though it still made my ears ring. I heard the thud of Sarge’s footsteps running down the crag towards the target. I staggered out of the hide and made my way to the edge. When I looked down I saw Sarge waving his hands at me. Beside him on the ground lay a bloodied ewe.